Living in the Meantimes

Revisiting Memorial Day Reflections

Re-posted by Popular Demand!

Last year about this time, I posted the following essay related to Memorial Day.  So many have commented on this essay, asking if I would re-post it for this year -- 2009.  I am glad to do so!  After the events of this past twelve months, I am even more indebted to the powerful influence, sacrifice and devotion of those who serve our country in the military!  I hope the following words will cause you to reflect on the heroes in your life as well!

Memorial Day Reflections -- 2008

I sat this morning in the quiet of my study reflecting on two men who have had a tremendous impact on my life -- men who served our Country during WWII.  Men who worked hard; gave their best: faced hardship beyond my imagination; experienced isolation, loneliness and desperation; and -- lived to return home to loved ones and touch my life.

My grandfather, Aldon Edwards, fought in the Army in Europe during the Battle of the Bulge.  He was wounded and taken prisoner by the German army.  Fortunately for my family, he survived the P.O.W. camp and came home.  Although he rarely spoke of his experiences there, the one story I will always remember is the one about the day his camp was liberated by U.S. Army soldiers.  It seems that during his captivity, the German guard assigned to his group would routinely "turn his back" while my grandfather and the other captives, secreted extra potatoes into their pockets so that they would not starve -- a truly humane and human thing to do -- risky for him as well, I might add.  On the day liberation came, the American soldiers approached my grandfather's group and asked how they had been treated during captivity.  To a man, they all commended their captor/guard for the kindness extended to them.  The German guard was so overwhelmed with gratitude that he literally fell to the ground and kissed the feet of each former American P.O.W. under his care and watch.  Every time my grandfather mentioned that moment, I noticed tears rim his eyelids without falling.  My grandfather has been gone now since 1980, but I will always remember his story -- but more importantly, his life.  His quiet strength instilled in me a desire to be a difference maker.  I miss him.

The other man is my uncle, Cleatus Lebow.  As a young man -- barely 18 years of age -- he was drafted into the Navy and ultimately found himself assigned to the U.S.S. Indianapolis -- the ship about which much has been written and portrayed in film and television.  I was a teen when he joined our family by marriage and the significance of his ordeal at sea was lost on me somehow.  I guess I was too focused on the Viet Nam war and the scary possibility that I too would be drafted -- too focused to understand the gravity of his service.

Not until much later as an adult did I truly begin to understand the importance of what he experienced.  He is a quiet, unassuming man -- gentle in nature and kind to the core.  The fact that he survived physically is amazing -- the fact that he has survived emotionally is a miracle!  If you don't know much about the events surrounding the U.S.S. Indianapolis I invite you to buy a couple of books -- Ordeal at Sea by Thomas Helm and Only 317 Survived! written by the survivors of this tragedy.  You can also google the U.S.S. Indianapolis for information -- while you're at it, google my uncle, Cleatus Lebow.  I think you will be amazed by what you read.

Regardless, as I sat this morning re-reading some of the pages of his my uncle's story, I was overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude for the service and sacrifice of so many through the years!  Without the brave service of men and women in our Armed Forces, we would not have the freedoms we enjoy -- and often take for granted -- today!  I am grateful for those freedoms and even more grateful that I have been touched so intimately by two heroes.

Recently, I was asked to be a part of the upcoming 48th U.S.S. Indianapolis survivors reunion on August 1 of this year.  I will have the honor of addressing this distinguished group of heroes in the opening session with a presentation entitled, Believe in the Journey. I am humbled to be a part of this solemn celebration of legacy leaving and look forward to shaking the hand of each of the 76 remaining survivors -- at least those are are physically able to make the trip.  I have no doubt that I will come away a better person for the experience!

War is indeed one of the most cruel and heartless of "mean times" our world faces.  Our Nation is engaged in perhaps one of the cruelest in history.  Many who read this have sons and daughters in harm's way as I write.  Some have returned with broken bodies, broken spirits, broken minds.  Some have returned physically whole yet forever changed from the experiences of battle.  Today, men and women fight -- lay their lives on the line -- in order to assure freedom for all people.  Regardless of your or my opinion of the war -- of ANY war -- the brave men and women who stand in our stead deserve our honor, support and prayers.

On this Memorial Day, my question is this: Who do you know who has a son, a daughter, a father or mother serving in danger?  Make note of those people right now and make a call; drop by the house; send an email; mail a card; give a hug; offer a prayer.  You may be one of those with a loved one fulfilling his or her duty.  Please know that I think of you today.

Perhaps one day, the hatred will cease; the fighting will subside; the killing will stop; the horror will fade.  Until such time, let us pause to remember, give thanks and be part of the solution.  WE help one another "live in the meantimes!"

Peace!

Mark Hundley

Copyright 2008 Mark E. Hundley

P.S. ~ I did indeed speak to that distinguished group of WWII heroes last summer and . . . well . . . I am change forever!  Period!

Banish Worry in Five Simple Steps!

But . . . There Are . . . GIANTS Out There!

The world in which we live is filled with GIANTS -- standing on every corner; posted on every hilltop; stationed in every board room; infiltrating every organization; lurking around our homes; toying with our minds; intimidating our every intent!  Who are these giants?  Certainly not the San Francisco type! No sirree!  The giants to which I refer are the GIANTS of WORRY!  That's right -- Worry!

In the same manner that Goliath goaded the Israelites, Worry taunts us, degrades our personhood, challenges our courage, discounts our purpose, laughs at our resolve, calls us names, drains our energy and deflates our spirit!  Yes, Worry is one mean dude!

We, like the trusty Israelites, often find ourselves trembling in the shadows cast by the GIANT worries that loom over us!  What's a person to do?

Worry's Focus

If we examine the plight of the Israelites, we discover the source of their impotence in facing the monstrous challenge in front of them.  At the very core of their worries was a focus on what they did NOT have in their possession.  What were some of the things that captured their attention -- those possessions that they believed would turn the tide in their favor? I can hear them now --  "If only we had ______ we could defeat that mean old GIANT!"

It seems that they believed if they only had "their own Giant," then they would win.  If they had the "courage" to face him down, then they would be victorious.  If they had a "secret weapon" they could take him by surprise.  If they had a warrior with "superhuman strength" then the war would end.  If, if, if!  It is really difficult to fight and win a battle against worry if your focus is always on what you do NOT have in your possession!  Worry will win every time!

KISS and Know Your Enemies!

No, I do not mean the enigmatic rock group!  That's a bizarre subject for another essay another time!  You have likely heard KISS referred to as either Keep It Short and Simple or Keep It Simple, Stupid!  Either way, the power of the simple approach is evident!  In addition to focusing our thoughts on what we do NOT have in our possession, we tend to further complicate matters by buying into the false belief that in order for a strategy to be effective it must be inherently complex.

I think that perhaps we sometimes create complex strategies in order to subtly sabotage our own efforts to embrace change and growth; thus, we succumb to the GIANTS of worry.  The more we allow worry to dominate our thoughts and actions, the less capable we are of taking charge of our life.

Among the Israelites, one person refused to acknowledge the perceived power of worry and this refusal proved pivotal in the final outcome of the battle in which they found themselves.

After David arrived at the Israelite camp, heard Goliath's taunts, observed the fear and worry that paralyzed his countrymen and inquired as to the nature of their lack of response, he did the only thing that appeared logical.  He volunteered to defeat the GIANT worrying his brothers!  Now you might think that his courage would have brought him immediate accolades!  Not so!  In fact, a few became angry while others taunted him -- funny how hearing a constant deluge of worrisome words can infiltrate our thinking, is it not?  Finally after much persuasion, the king agreed to allow David to face Goliath, but only if he dressed in the king's battle gear.  Bad idea!

David was only a teen -- certainly not a full grown man!  David was swimming in the armor given to him.  At last, David rejected the offer and went to meet the worrisome GIANT armed with what he had -- what he knew.  As a shepherd, he had developed a skill for using a sling shot to protect his flocks -- and he was quite adept at this skill, I might add.

David found FIVE SMOOTH STONES, put them into his pouch and made his way out to the battlefield.  Despite the laughter, belittling and derogatory comments flung his way by Goliath, David stood his ground, stated what he was going to do, reached into his pouch, pulled out one of the five stones, placed it in the cradle of the sling shot, began the circular motion necessary to launch the projectile and at the proper moment, let it fly!  The rest is history, legend or myth (however you choose to look at it) -- the stone found its mark and the worrisome GIANT went down in defeat!

The keys to this unlikely victory?  There are two.

First, David took a little time to know something about his enemy.  He asked questions, made observations and evaluated his enemy.  If we are to ever banish the GIANTS of Worry from our lives, we must do the same thing!  A friend of mine told me that asking my readers to list their worries would be a great idea!  I agree!  So, before you read the Five Simple Steps to Banishing Worry from your life, may I suggest that you spend a little time making a list of the worries that cramp your life right now.  As my friend said, "writing them down brings them into perspective."  In other words, they do not seem as large when they are on paper!  Thanks, Mara for that suggestion!  So, get to writing! 

Second, David focused on what he HAD and not on what he did NOT have and used those skills, those possessions to his advantage!  He kept his approach simple!

So What Does This Mean?

We, like David, have the ability to banish worry in five simple steps -- but only if we acknowledge the power found in them.  David selected five smooth stones knowing that if for some reason the first did not do the trick, he had four others equally capable of handling the task.  Let's look at the five simple steps you can employ to banish worry from your life!  I recently worked the following process so that I could share it with you from a perspective of experience rather than theory.  Believe me, it works!  Get ready!

1. Focus on What You DO Have!  Too often we allow the "if/only" game to set us up for defeat.  You know how it goes, "I I only had ______ then I could achieve my goals."  When we fall victim to this impotent game, we miss the obvious -- those things we DO have in our possession.  The First Challenge I extend to you is this: Set aside 30 minutes or so and make a list of everything you have in your possession -- at your fingertips -- right now!  These things will form the foundation from which you will attack worry!  Some examples of things you might list are education, friends, contacts, club/organization membership, ideas, products, abilities, talents, cars, computers, a house, televisions, etc.  You get the idea!  List everything you have right now.
2. Reflect on How These Possessions Have Served You in the Past!  After you have listed everything that comes to mind, make notations about how you have employed each of these possessions in the past as well as the outcomes associated with using them.  Be honest!  Be as complete and detailed as possible in order to create a picture of the power packed in the things you possess.
3. Determine Ways in Which You Can Put These Possessions to Work for You Now!  Begin the process of creating strategies to employ the power of those possessions as you work to attain your personal goals.  Assuming that all behavior is purposeful -- that we act "in order to" and not "because of" -- then the desired and anticipated outcomes of putting your possessions to work for you should become clear.  You will have an idea of what to expect as you put those things to work for you right now!
4. Take Deliberate Action Steps to Put Your Power into Play!  Once your strategies are in place, start taking action steps toward your goals!  Be persistent and consistent!  Make calls!  Write letters!  Ask questions!  Attend networking meetings!  Be teachable!  Sell some of your stuff if you have to!  You get the point!  You must put your personal power into play if you expect to see any results!
5. Repeat the Cycle!  That's right, repeat the cycle!  Why you may ask?  Well, when we focus on what we have -- those things we possess -- and put them to work for us, then we will begin acquiring more of what we want that we didn't have when we started the process in the first place!  As we begin to accumulate more of what we want, we discover that our resources have multiplied -- we have more stuff with which to work -- more possessions to invest in those things that are important to us!  Re-evaluation of our position in the process reminds us to always act from the position of what we do have in order to get what we need and want to live a fulfilled life!

One Final Thought

Life is unpredictable -- and that in itself is predictable!  What we know for sure is that the ebb and flow of life will create challenges that must be met head on!  If we are not careful, we can allow the GIANTS of Worry to intimidate us into believing that we can do nothing!  They will convince us that our efforts to change our circumstances are futile at best.  They will defeat us!

Today -- right where you are -- decide to shift your focus to what you have at your fingertips! 
Determine to put those known quantities to work for you!  Step out on that battlefield, select the first of your stones, place it in the cradle of your belief, set it into motion, release it toward its target and watch Worry fall to the ground in a heap of deflated bravado!  Now, do it again . . . and again . . . and again . . . and . . .

You can . . . no . . . You WILL banish worry!

Until next time . . . Peace!

Mark

Copyright 2009 Mark E.  Hundley

On the Wings of Faith

A Purposeful Absence

I have been away from the keyboard for a while now -- purposely I might add.  I have been engaged in other writing projects that required more of my time and attention.  As I reflected last evening about what to write, I drew a complete blank.  I was somewhat fearful that I might have encountered that proverbial nemesis of writers -- writer's block.  Never one to give in completely to foundless fears, I simply told myself before drifting off to sleep, "Don't worry, you'll think of something in the morning!"

This practice has worked in the past and as anticipated, did so again.  While drinking my morning coffee, I was drawn to the file cabinet.  As I rifled through random files, I came across one labeled, Parable of the Twins.  I had not read that parable in quite some time so I opened it and to my surprise, discovered the topic for this essay.

A Memorial for My Mentor and Friend

Dr. Byron Medler, Professor of Counseling at the University of North Texas, my mentor, my colleague and my friend, journeyed from this life to the next almost twelve years ago.  I find myself in near disbelief that so much time has passed!  Twelve years!

The reason I mention Bryon is because of what I found in that file.  Instead of just the printed story of the Parable of the Twins, I discovered the transcript of Byron's memorial service -- a service at which I officiated.  You see, in another life (many years ago) I was a minister.  Based on that history, I was honored to be invited to lead the service.  It is a day I will never forget!  As I read through my notes from that day in May 1997, I knew what I must write THIS day.

What follows is as close to word-for-word of that message as I am able to re-create.  Many of the words are not my own, but taken from writings that may be familiar to many of you who read this.  On this Good Friday 2009, I share with you a glimpse of Faith that I believe can find relevance for anyone -- regardless of your Spiritual inclination.  Much of what I write here has a Christian influence at its core, yet it is not an attempt to persuade anyone to abandon one faith and embrace another.  On the contrary, I am hopeful that each reader will explore your own personal belief system and tap into the power of renewal, hope and purpose that your faith provides.

As you read this memorial, please reflect on the power of faith in the face of uncertainty. 

On the Wings of Faith

We are here today to honor the life of a dear friend -- Dr. Byron Medler.  Byron has touched the lives of each person present here today; yet we are merely representative of the vast numbers of people influenced by this precious man during his all too short life on earth.  This influence will live on in perpetuity as each of us shares his words of wisdom with clients, friends and family -- words that are alive with purpose and meaning.

I can honestly say that Byron was one of the most "real" people I've ever known and perhaps ever will know!  We often shared our mutual love of children's stories -- stories written for children laced with wisdom for living life more completely.  One of those we each loved was Margery Williams' story The Velveteen Rabbit.  Please allow me to share a favorite passage from this beautiful story -- a passage that describes the type of person Byron was.   

What is Real?

"The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others!  He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces.  He was wise for he had seen a long line of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away.  He knew that they were only toys and would never turn in to anything else.  For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced, like the Skin Horse, understand all bout it!"

"What is REAL," asked the Rabbit one day when they were lying side-by-side.  "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"REAL isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse.  "It's a thing that happens to you.  When a child loves you for a long, long time -- not just to play with -- but really LOVES you, then you become REAL!'

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.  "When you are REAL, you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse.  "You become.  It takes a long time.  That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept.  Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get lose in the joints and very shabby.  But these things don't matter at all, because once you are REAL you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Byron Medler was REAL to the core!  The question here today is "How does one come to be REAL in this manner?"  The answer to this question?  FAITH!  Now I know that there are likely as many definitions of Faith as there are people in this room; however, for our purposes today, I want to address Faith as a two-sided coin -- where one without the other has no real value.

On the one side, Faith allows us Access to the Eternal Light!  It punches a hole in the veil of uncertainty, struggle and confusion that surrounds our finite existence and connects us with the Infinite Power of the Creator.  Faith enables us to carry this light from God throughout our daily existence as we learn to be real people, living in a real world, facing real tests and emerging with real wisdom and insight as a result of the journey.

Yet, each of us is troubled from one time to another with questions about what happens after we depart this world.  We seek answers.  The Scripture says that "He is; And He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him."  So let us ask!

How does Faith in God address this question?  Allow me to share with you a brief story entitled: The Parable of the Twins.

Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb.  Weeks passed and the twins developed.  As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy: "Isn't it great that we were conceived?  Isn't if great to be alive?!"

Together the twins explored their world.  When they found their mother's cord that gave them life, they sang for joy:  "How great is our mother's love that she shares her own life with us!"

As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing.  "What does it mean?" asked the one. 

"It means that our stay in this world in drawing to an end," said the other. 

"But I don't want to go," said the one.  "I want to stay here always."

"We have no choice," said the other.  "But maybe there is life after Birth!" 

"But how can there be?" responded the one.  "We will shed our life cord and how is life possible without it?  Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us, and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth.  No, this is the end!"

And so the one fell into a deep despair, saying: "If conception ends in birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb?  It is meaningless!  Maybe there is no mother after all?"

"But there has to be," protested the other.  "How else did we get here?"  How do we remain alive?"

"Have you ever seen our mother?" said the one.  "Maybe she lives only in our minds.  Maybe we made her up, because the idea made us feel good?"

And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear.  Finally, the moment of birth arrived.

When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes.  They cried!  For what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams!

1 Corinthians 2:9 says, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him."

This side of Faith allows us to believe in that which cannot be seen -- to tap into the hope there is more to life than that which in tangible.  It is the assurance that promises given are promises kept.  It is the assurance that we cannot truly lose something if we know where it is!  This side of Faith helps us look beyond the natural to the supernatural.  It helps us create purpose and meaning in the temporal as we tap into the eternal. 

The other side of this Faith coin is that True Faith permits, encourages and teaches us to mourn our losses.  True Faith does not deny or minimize the effects of loss.

1 Thessalonians teaches us to mourn with hope.  In the Beatitudes, Jesus tells us that those who mourn are blessed.  2 Corinthians 1:3-9 details God's Cycle of Comfort that empowers us to comfort others with the same comfort we ourselves have received through the process of embracing our struggles and pain.  Jesus even expressed his human capacity to mourn over the death of his dear friend, Lazarus.

This side of Faith provides us with the strength and guidance to learn to Reconcile ourselves to life's many losses and Integrate them into the fabric of our lives.  Grief is a natural process following loss.  It is what we feel and experience.  Mourning, on the other hand, is grief gone public.  It is what we do with what we feel to externalize these feelings and experiences and create meaning, purpose and connection in our lives.

This double-sided coin of Faith about which I speak, makes it possible to join the infinite with the finite; the spiritual with the natural; the immortal with the mortal.

In this moment, we pause to absorb the power of that kind of Faith.  C.S. Lewis wrote in the Screwtape Letters, "The present is the point at which time touches eternity."

Byron Medler -- our friend, our colleague, our mentor, precious father, grandfather and sibling to those of his family -- experienced this type of Faith.  He demonstrated this fact by the way he lived his life; by those he touched; by those he influenced; by those he encouraged and endorsed.  Byron Medler was and is a Real Person!

Heaven is our eternal home, yet we struggle with the process of leaving this temporary place and our physical confines for the other side.  It has been said that we are spiritual beings on a human journey.  This world and our feeble clay dwellings are not our final destination.  Death, for the one who possesses the kind of Faith described here, is merely the extinguishing of the candle because the Dawn has come.

Psalms 116:15 says, "His loved ones are very precious to him and he does not let them die lightly."  I believe that William Shakespeare understood this when he wrote, "Good night sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

We bid farewell for only a short time to one whom we have loved and who loved us.  As we seek to develop this same kind of Faith, we anticipate a reunion on the other side where joy abounds, hope is fulfilled and light is eternal.

Because of this Faith, I can say of Byron, as did the angel say of Jesus on Easter morning, "He is not here.  He is risen!"

A Final Word

I know that this essay is somewhat different than my others.  My hope is that you will spend time exploring your own personal beliefs and seek ways to incorporate them into the fabric of that which you work to create in your own life!  In the Mean Times of life -- this Double-sided coin of Faith is a commodity that cannot be abandoned.  It must be invested!  Invest wisely and broadly!

Until next time . . . Peace . . . and . . . Faith!

Mark

Copyright 2009 Mark E. Hundley

Fighting the Fickle, Feely Fingers of Fate

The Creepies

I knew they were coming!  I had sensed their presence lurking around the edges of my consciousness for about a week!  They've been a constant companion of mine since I was a child -- and I'm guessing that they've been caught hanging around your life as well from time to time!  Who are they?  Well, they are the creepies of course!  You know what I mean -- those feelings that slither their way into your soul and eat away at your confidence; chew holes in your resolve; cloud your thinking; cast doubts on your determinations!  The creepies!  Yes, they are always looking for a inroad -- a path by which to capture our dreams and hold them prisoner.

The creepies are the agents of FATE sent out to undercut our abilities to rise above the mundane.  Dark and shadowy, they prowl -- nosing at the cracks in our lives seeking dreams to devour.  FATE has a way of doing that to us -- convincing us that whatever our current lot in life, it was simply meant to be -- rendering us incapable of questioning or fighting against it.

FATE has other emissaries it employs to snuff out our dreams -- family of origin dysfunctions; societal injunctions; religious restrictions -- all working from time to time to eliminate the power of personal resolve!  FATE positions itself as some sort of all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful entity that determines which of us will rise above to live the life of our dreams and which of us will only futilely wish for the life of our dreams.

Yes, for about a week the creepies waited and watched . . . until . . . yesterday they made their move on me!

In the Darkness

I felt the creepies surround me -- poking and prodding; seeking entrance into my mind, my soul, my spirit.  I was immediately awake -- alert to all that was going on inside and around me!  The time? Two o'clock in the morning -- the darkest of darkness.

I quietly slipped out of bed and made my way to the study -- the creepies hovering, floating, probing, nudging as I walked.  I sat in my chair waiting to see what kinds of words would issue from the creepies.  I waited only a moment.

As if perched on my shoulders; positioned in my heart; punched into my brain, the words flowed:  "What do you think you're doing?"  "Have you gone completely mad?"  "Who do you think you are anyway?"  "Did you honestly think you could pull this off?"  "Do you know how ridiculous you look?"  "Do you have any idea how many people laugh at you?"  "When will you come to your senses and put an end to all this foolishness?"

With each onslaught, my resolve withered a bit!  My belief in self sustained bruising blows!  My dreams appeared far-fetched!  The creepies had me on the ropes and were pounding away!  FATE seemed to be winning once again -- then -- the bell!  (Actually it was my alarm going off at 6:00 am)  God knows how many rounds I tussled with FATE in the wee hours of the morning before my reprieve, but I was roused from this all-too-familiar fight and given a chance to fight back!

I stood up, and from within my spirit shouted, "NO! Not THIS time!"  I made my way back to bed, crawled under the covers and went to sleep!  I slept peacefully for four hours and then awakened.

On the Run

After a cup of coffee and the Sunday morning paper, I pulled on my running clothes and hit the pavement.  I do my best thinking; get my best ideas; capture my best insights while running.  Yesterday morning was no different. 

I attached my mp3 player to my arm, put on the earphones donned my cap and sunglasses and headed out.  When I run, I always listen to Brooks & Dunn -- everything from the Steers & Stripes cd to Cowboy Town!  Their music energizes me and jump-starts my thinking!  Songs like, "Only in America," "Red Dirt Road," "It's Getting Better All the Time," "Believe," "That's What It's All About," "Play Something Country," "Proud of the House We Built," and "Cowgirls Don't Cry" pour positive power into my running and my thinking!

As I ran, my mind freed itself of negative clutter and insight crystallized!  I knew what I needed to do -- what I needed to write.  When I returned home, I spent some time reflecting and writing notes.

What I Realized About FATE

While running, I realized several things about FATE that demand sharing!

First, FATE is Fickle!  A belief that FATE somehow perfectly spells out the paths we walk fails to recognize the fickle nature of life.  As easily as the weather changes, so does life!  FATE's fickle nature finds its essence in the circumstantial ebb and flow of life.  Do I really want to trust the realization of my dreams to a force that changes like the wind?

Second, FATE is Feely!  FATE depends on us to be carried away by our feelings of fear and uncertainty and despair!  It feeds on the life that emotions create in us.  It tears away at the positive emotions leaving only those that would cause us to freeze into place and cease working to realize our dreams!  Feely is different from intuition!  Intuition often goes against the grain!  It encourages us to take risks -- step out on a limb!  It guides us through the maze of "can't" into the realm of "can!"  Intuition is the substance of hope and faith!  Feely is well . . . feely!

Third, FATE has Fingers whose job it is to pull us back into the mire of defeatist beliefs and actions.  As I ran, I recalled a cartoon from my childhood where a character had fallen into a tar pit.  Flat on his back he began struggling to extract himself from the sticky substance.  With each move forward, the tar stretched from his body forming long, thin fingers that snapped back to the ground as he dislodged from their grip.  One by one, these fingers fell away until only one remained.  The character was exhausted.  Unable to see behind him and discern the reality of his situation due to his focus to move forward, he believed that his efforts were in vain -- that he would never be free of the mire.  Just as he was about to be free from the pit, he gave up and only one thin thread of tar pulled him back.  He was once again stuck never aware of just how close he had come to being free!  FATE has fingers, but they are not all-powerful! 

Fourth, FATE is not Final!  As much as we are led to believe at times, FATE is not set in stone!  It is not inescapable!  Destiny is a synonym for FATE.  We often find a skewed kind of comfort relegating our lives to FATE or Destiny.  We are off the hook if our life is destined to be what it is, right?  Well, I am firmly convinced that in large measure, we are where we are, do what we are doing and experience what we are experiencing due to choices we have made and continue to make!  It's like this, have you ever bought a plane ticket to one destination and not arrived at that pre-determined place?  I know there can be some exceptions due to weather or other unforeseen situations, but you see my point!  We arrive where we arrive, experience what we experience, have what we have based on our choices!  Our Destiny is created as we choose to embrace and engage the opportunities presented to us and make choices.  WE choose our destiny!

Fifth and finally, FATE can be Fought . . . and defeated!

The Formula for Fighting FATE

Following are some thoughts about how to successfully fight the facade of FATE.

1. We must realize that a Dream Conceived = Potential!  We must all allow ourselves to dream the life we desire to have!  That process establishes the potential of something different!
2. We must realize that a Dream Written = Possibility! Rarely so we ever realize a dream until and unless we write it down enabling us to read it regularly!  The more we read what we've written the more we believe in the possibility!
3. We must realize that a Dream Shared = Probability!  Accountability is perhaps the primary key to realizing dreams!  When our dreams are shared with others we create the opportunity to benefit from the counsel and wisdom of others.  We also take steps to eliminate excuses as to our ability to achieve our dreams.  We are accountable to another person!
4. We must realize that Patience Produces Results!  Nothing worth achieving will happen over night!
5. We must realize that Perseverance Pays Dividends!  The more strength we receive from the purposeful pursuit of our dreams, the more strength we will possess when times become difficult!
6. We must realize that Persistence Prevents Purposelessness!  The persistent pursuit of our dreams injects purpose into our actions, our conversations, our decisions, our relationships!

Walking the Talk!

In an effort to model some of what I write about today, I want to put a few of my dreams out there for public consumption!  Now believe me, this is a scary proposition; however, a necessary one if I am to maintain any sense of credibility.  Following are some of the dreams that were attacked by the creepies yesterday morning.

• I am currently in the process of raising funds for the Journey of Hope Grief Support Center through a campaign I call One in a Million!  My goal is to raise One Million Dollars, One Dollar at a time, One Person at a time in 2009!  As part of this campaign, I have dedicated myself to run one million steps or 500 miles (12 miles per week) between now and the end of the year.  I will donate $500 to the Journey of Hope as a result!  I have created another blog where you can follow the progress of the campaign @ http://livinginthemeantimes.typepad.com/million  Won't you join me by donating just one dollar and then inviting friends and family to do the same?
• I am currently engaged in a project to revise, update and publish a second edition of my first book Awaken to Good Mourning.  In order to do this, I am seeking financial partners to assist me in this endeavor.  I am convinced that the five people I need to meet are out there and by putting this information out, I am more likely to meet them than if I did not!  I envision selling one million copies of this book!  The need is great and the markets are wide open!
• I am seeking agent and/or agency representation to assist me in finding a publisher for four more books I have ready to go at this point in time -- The Place of Passage (a collection of therapeutic short stories), Living in the Meantimes (essays for purposeful, powerful living), Crucial Conversations With Children and Death Benefit Delivery: What Do I Do Now? (for life insurance professionals).

There you have it!  Likely more information than you wanted; however, I am hopeful that you will find encouragement to pursue your dreams with purpose, persistence, patience and perseverance!

Please feel free to share your dreams in this open forum!  Remember, there is power in shared dreams!

Until next time . . . Peace . . . and Sweet Dreams!

Mark

Copyright 2009 by Mark E. Hundley

 

The Sane Kind of Crazy

Opposites Attract?

This is a saying we have all heard and likely have repeated from time to time -- Opposites Attract!  But, let's examine it a moment.  How true is this statement . . . really?  Do opposites truly attract and if so, for how long?  From my experience, when complete opposites come together -- whether in relationships, business partnerships, joint endeavors, religious discussions or political debates -- the  chemistry is often charged with intensely stimulating interplay!  The initial intrigue and interest generated in the exchange of ideas and philosophies tends to create a sense of anticipation -- perhaps unlike any ever experienced by the participants.

All parties involved may find themselves swept up in the uniqueness of the relationship, exhilarated by the ambient energy inherent in the unlikely collaboration and unable to clearly recognize warning signs that exist.  Even when the novelty begins to wear thin, participants tend to brush aside differences hoping to recapture the initial excitement.  More often than not, these relationships so fraught with potential in the beginning, either end with a disappointing whimper or a loud and obnoxious bang!  I acknowledge that there are exceptions -- there are always exceptions -- but my experience tells me that this is the rule.  In the end the more alike we are the better chance we have of sustaining a meaningful connection.

The Same Kind of Crazy

Back in 2000, Delbert McClinton recorded a rollicking song entitled, The Same Kind of Crazy. In it he describes meeting a woman who completely turns his world upside down!  He just can't get enough of her and apparently, the same is true on her part as well -- she can't get enough of him!  What's the attraction?  Well, as Delbert puts it, "Ain't no doubt about it.  She's the same kind of crazy as me!"  She is different from any other woman with whom he has had a relationship because she is more alike him that she is opposite!

When like attracts like, a sense of cohesiveness tends to emerge as the glue that holds the relationship together.  The Myers-Briggs Type Inventory -- or MBTI as it is popularly known -- verifies this assertion.  Basically, it tells us that the more two people are alike in approach, the more likely they are to create a lasting partnership.  Now, in all fairness, the research associated with the MBTI indicates that positive relationships can exist between and among people of more divergent types as long as they are trained to understand and appreciate differences.  Still, the truth of the matter is that the more we are alike, the better chance we have.  We have an old folk saying that states it in a way we can all remember -- "Birds of a feather flock together!"

Let's face it, Sameness works . . . Until it doesn't anymore!

When the "Same Kind of Crazy" Becomes Destructive

I know you have heard the following definition of insanity -- heard it and perhaps chuckled at its raw truth!  It goes, "One definition of insanity is to continue to do what you have always done and expect a different result!"  Remember?  Yeah, I thought so.  This definition refers to the other side of the "Same Kind of Crazy" coin.  This side reflects on the part of human nature that seeks familiarity and sameness when divergence would be the better path.

More often than not, this side shows itself when we are faced with times of uncertainty.  Whether as individuals or corporate bodies, there is a tendency to follow the path of least resistance (that which we have always done) when faced with daunting challenges.  We often find ourselves personifying the definition of insanity mentioned above.  We retreat to the familiar and comfortable when we would be better served by doing something differently.  We fall victim to the "Same Kind of Crazy!"

I know that I tread a fine line here -- one that often divides people into opposing camps.  My guys vs. your guys!  As risky as walking this line can be, I believe that our crazy times demand addressing the related issues.  I am not here to make political statements championing or demeaning one party over the other!  That would be pointless and fall into the "Same Kind of Crazy-making" that already exists. My goal is to present an option worth consideration and ask some questions that demand an audience.

In simplistic terms, I believe that we as a nation -- perhaps even a world -- have fallen prey to the allure of the familiar.  We have made some very unwise choices along the way ignoring the potential negative ramifications associated with them.  We have continued to act as if we are immune to the consequences of opting for the "Same Kind of Crazy" in our personal and corporate decision making processes.

We -- and I mean all of us -- individuals, corporations, governmental bodies, churches -- have fallen victim to credit addictions, immediate gratification syndromes, denials of the obvious, refusals to investigate the bigger picture, name callings, destructive generalizations, hurtful categorizations and all manner of other destructive behaviors too numerous to mention.

The Time of Possibility?

We are faced with unparalleled difficulties on all fronts . . . and I mean ALL FRONTS!  The world is in a mess -- a BIG ONE!  The collective MESS in which we find ourselves is a multi-headed monster not easily attacked.  In effect, we live in a time of immense struggle that is also ironically an immeasurable time of possibility!  And what are we doing with this unparalleled set of opportunities?  Well, a large number of us -- perhaps more than we know -- are giving in to the "Same Kind of Crazy;" doing what we have always done and expecting a different result!

We live in a time when bailouts followed by bonuses are commonplace (despicable but true).  We reward mis-management with promotions and lavish trips/parties.  We recognize flagrant misbehavior by hovering over and rescuing the miscreants.  We promote and praise partisan politics even when we have promised to do otherwise.  We sacrifice our future to feed the wanton appetites of the present. 

Unless we choose to act differently, we run the risk of being remembered as the people that squandered the greatest possibility of history -- that of turning the world around and setting a new course!  A time of possibility?  Perhaps, but only if we choose a different path to travel.

The SANE Kind of Crazy!

No, this is NOT a misspelling!  I purposely use the word SANE here!  I want to make a point and perhaps spur our thinking.  We have too much of the "Same Kind of Crazy" determining the course of our lives today!  Most of what are called "new ideas" are really the old ones gussied up in new wrappings and monikers!  Upon closer inspection nothing is effectively new or different!

Folks, I am convinced that the current times in which we live demand collective creative collaboration -- a blending of our minds, hearts, dreams, hunches, ideas and spirits in order to put into motion a synergy like none other in our history!

We are going to have to go CRAZY -- but do so in a SANE kind of way!  If one definition of insanity is to do what we have always done and expect a different result, then one definition of sanity must surely be to do things differently and expect a different result!  Makes sense on some foundational level doesn't  it?

Just One Example of the "Sane Kind of Crazy" Principle

By now you have all likely read about the banker in Florida who, upon selling a major interest in his bank, doled out $60 Million of his own money to 399 current employees of the bank and another 72 who retired from his bank!  Amazing?  Undoubtedly!  Crazy? You betcha!  Sane?  Obviously!  WHAT?  Obvious?  Mark you must be . . . well . . . CRAZY to call that a sane move!  Before you determine that I have completely lost my marbles, let me explain.

In reading one article about this phenomenal act of generosity, the banker shared that early on he realized that if the bank president didn't show up for work, it was no big deal most days.  He did, however, realize that if tellers did not show up for work . . . well, that was another story!  He decided that he wanted to reward loyalty, hard work, dedication and perseverance.  Now these were no measly bonuses!  No sir!  Although they did not compare with the millions in tainted bonuses lavished on folks who may or may not have deserved them, they were extremely significant!  The bonuses in many cases amounted to more than $100,000!  Now I don't know about you, but I would be ecstatic to receive a check for $100,000 from an employer!  Man, talk about having a great day!

This gentleman -- and I mean that in the truest sense of the word -- set an example of what I mean when I refer to the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle!  On the surface one might be considered crazy to give away tens of millions of dollars that was rightfully his.  Yet just under the surface, one sees the sanity in his actions!  Imagine the retirement accounts that were bolstered; the medical bills that were paid; the school loans that were eliminated; the savings accounts started; the acts of paying forward that were initiated; the charities and non-profits that were beneficiaries!  He set into motion a ripple effect of generosity, good will and genuine compassion!  I love it!

Other Examples

The story of this banker's beneficence garnered headlines because of the magnitude and unusuall nature of his act; however, I hear of other folks out there acting on the "Sane Kind of Crazy"  principle.  There are companies that, instead of laying off employees to protect that "ever important bottom line," are instead keeping employees and instituting across the board salary cuts for all employees as well as management and ownership!  Now there's a thought!  Instead of putting more people out of work, clogging the unemployment offices, choking the flow of commerce on the consumer level, they are telling their people that they value them and believe the downturn is temporary.  Bravo to those companies and owners!  Can you imagine the emotional and mental lift those employees are likely to experience knowing that their jobs are secure and they are valued?

I have also heard of folks giving back bonuses received in order to ensure employees retain jobs.  Pretty cool, huh?  Still others have devised ways to restructure corporate purchases and expenses in order to protect the integrity of their employees.

I am sure that you have heard of similar stories and I invite you to share them with us!  These are the stories that need national media attention!  These are the innovators who need our recognition!  These are the ones who operate under the power of the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle!  These are the people we need to lead us out of the tough times in which we find ourselves!

I Must Stop Now

I could likely go on and on with ideas and examples of how people are and can employ the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle but I won't for now!  I will; however, share one insane idea about how some of the bank bailout money could have been used.  Instead of giving multiple billions of dollars to banks to bail them out of messes they created, why couldn't we have studied the mortgages on all the banks books, determined how much would be necessary to pay off those mortgages (especially those in danger of foreclosure), paid the collective balances of those mortgages to the banks and then communicated with the mortgagees about what had happened?

What benefit could this bring?  Well, the bank would have money funneled to them through the process of paying off mortgages on their books -- money in hand to the likely tune of millions to billions of dollars.  Home owners would have a clear and free asset with substantial equity freeing up precious dollars for food, clothing and other necessities.  Banks would have money to loan.  Homeowners would have the possibility of accessing their equity via home equity loans if/when needed.  Consumers could then have more money to save or invest.  Additional debt could be addressed by the money saved from the monthly mortgage payment . . . Get the picture?  Now I know I've likely missed some obvious problems with this idea and you can likely find all kinds of ways to shoot it down; however, maybe -- just maybe -- your creativity has been jogged!

Final Question

What about you?  In what ways do you find yourself mired in the trap of acting under the presumptuous power of the "Same Kind of Crazy?"  What problems do you face that have not responded to the same approach that you've always used?  What issues are you perhaps pretending to not see?

May I challenge all of us to give the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle a shot!  Remember, changes in thinking and behavior are often slow to take hold; however, persistence will ultimately pay off!  In order to reap a harvest of new outcomes, we must plant seeds consistent with our ultimate desires!

Thanks for reading the rantings of a somewhat crazy bald guy!

Until next time . . . Peace . . . and . . . Sanity!

Mark

Copyright 2009 Mark E. Hundley 

More than a Dream!

In the Beginning

All dreams have a birth date -- a point of beginning -- a time when ideas and feelings combine with intent and potential to create a possibility ripe for exploration!  Dreams are necessary!  They drive innovation!  They open doors of change!  They challenge established protocol!  They build platforms of opportunity!  They alter perspective! 

Yes, without dreams, we teeter on the brink of destruction.  Dreams are the catalysts that allow us to adapt to the ever-changing world in which we live.  Without dreams, we see only what exists in front of us at any given time!  Without dreams, we may be convinced that the struggle we face this day will be the best we ever see in life!  Without dreams, we might be sure that the joy experienced this day will likely never be matched or exceeded at any time in our future!  Without dreams, the mediocrity in which we find ourselves mired this day may appear our only path to travel.  Without dreams life simply happens TO us and we just allow ourselves to be tossed about on its waves of uncertainty.  Without dreams, we perish!

I had a dream once that proves the points just mentioned.

I recall on the day after Christy's death twenty years ago, that I wanted to establish a scholarship in her memory dedicated to providing support for students planning to enter the field of education.  From the moment I made my intent known, I received input from multiple sources.  Strangely enough, some of the input was negative.  Several folks sought to discourage me from establishing a scholarship saying that the involvement and details would likely be too much for me to handle and might prove burdensome.  Well, I was a bit confused to say the least.  Regardless, I followed through on my intent, made a few calls to the University of North Texas, discovered the minimum amount necessary to set up an endowed scholarship and wrote the check -- I didn't see the "difficulty" or "burden" about which I had been warned!

In December of 1989 and again in December of 1990, I ran the Dallas White Rock Marathon in order to raise money to bolster the scholarship fund and eventually boosted the total endowment to around $20,000!  Scholarships have been awarded each year based on the interest received on the small fund set up to honor Christy's memory.  Those funds have provided a modicum of financial support for future educators each year since the beginning of that dream.

Celebration of Perpetuity

Recently, my daughter and I attended the annual University of North Texas Scholarship Donor/Recipient Reception in Denton, TX.  Kacie attended the first one with me during the fall of 1989 when she was seven -- the event that marked the recognition of the first recipient of the Christy Hundley Memorial Scholarship.  Kacie had been unable to attend others throughout the years and with this being the twentieth anniversary of her mom's death, her heart was set on attending with me.  It was a very special evening for both of us!

We arrived early and visited in anticipation of meeting this year's recipient.  As always, I anxiously awaited the opportunity to meet the new "teacher to be" and I could tell that Kacie was as excited as I!  When the young lady made her way to our table, it was as if we had known her for years!  We enjoyed lively conversation, discussed her aspirations to teach third graders and marveled at the turns her life had taken causing her path to cross ours and vice versa.  We had a delightful time!

When the evening ended both Kacie and I felt a sense of gratitude for the chance to have played a small part in the lives of so many over the years, knowing that countless students have been touched by the dedication displayed by each recipient.  We basked in the warmth of accomplishment knowing that Christy's love for students and education has been and will continue to be perpetuated long after we are gone from this earth.

A Surprise in the Mix

As much fun as Kacie and I had visiting with the 2008-2009 scholarship recipient, I must say that the most unexpected surprise came when a young man by the name of Given Kachepa -- a senior at UNT -- spoke to the assembled crowd.  I had no idea that his speech would move me the way it did!  I was mesmerized from the moment he took the podium!

Perhaps you recall the stories several years ago related to a traveling boys choir from the African country of Zambia and how the boys were enslaved by unscrupulous handlers whose empty promises duped church congregations all over the country.  I cannot do his personal story justice in the brief space I have here, so I encourage you to visit www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/march/13.30.html and read the article detailing the amazing journey of this incredible young man!

I hung on every word he spoke that evening!  I could only imagine -- and then not very well -- the torment and heartache this young man has experienced in his life.  Yet, as much as my heart broke for his pain, it rejoiced in his good fortune as well!  You see, an angel of a family -- the Shepherds in Colleyville, TX -- stepped in at a pivotal point in this young man's life and breathed hope and healing into his soul!  They took him in as one of their own and the rest -- as they say -- is history!

Not only is Given a scholarship recipient of the University of North Texas, he is the beneficiary of something far greater than mere money can provide!  He is surrounded by the power of dreams fulfilled!

Dreams Give Life

That evening as I drove home and in the days since, I have contemplated the power of dreams.  Dreams, our heart's desires, fuel everything good and right about the world!  Imagine the world without Martin Luther King Jr's. speech, "I Have a Dream!"  Where would we be today if that speech had never been delivered in the first place?  Where would we be if he never had the dream to begin with?  Where would we be if he had simply kept the dream to himself?  I can only speculate on those points; however, a part of me is firmly convinced that our world would not be a better place as a result.

Dreams are powerful!  They give life to LIFE!  Dreams are worth contemplating!  They are worth writing down!  They are worth sharing!  They are worth pursuing!  They are worth attaining!  Dreams are worth EVERYTHING!

Three Components of Dreams Fulfilled

As I have ruminated on the power of dreams, I have discovered a simple formula that -- if applied -- can do much to assist us in the realization of our dreams.

First, dreams present an Opportunity for us to contemplate the possible!  So often we scurry around in frantic pursuit of that which only satisfies the immediate.  As important as some of those targets are to our survival in the moment, they do little to focus our attention on the possibilities that life has to offer!  Dreams present us with a chance to step outside the normal, the routine, the mundane and catch a glimpse of life as it could be!  Perhaps one of my all-time favorite quotes related to the opportunities presented by dreams is from Robert F. Kennedy when he said, "Some men see things as they are and say why.  I see things that never were and say why not!"

Second, dreams demand Action in order to take effect!  A dream without a definitive decision to take the necessary step or steps to make it a reality is just pie-in-the-sky rhetoric!  Action takes on many forms -- making a call; writing a letter; asking a question; opening a door; picking up a sign; presenting a speech; stepping aside; stepping up; stepping out; stepping back; singing a song; lending a hand; strategizing; talking; listening -- you get the picture!  Dreams without action quickly become nightmares!

Third, dreams require Follow-through or they become short-lived!  We can seize the opportunity a dream presents, spring into action in a flurry of enthusiasm and without consistent follow-through, our dream will ultimately end up on the scrap heap along with countless other well-intentioned thoughts that never quite made it out of the gate!  Follow-through is actually the process of choosing to choose over and over again!  It is the commitment to take action consistently and persistently on a daily basis; for without follow-through our dreams are in danger of becoming empty shells -- holding nothing, supporting nothing, pointing the way to . . . nothing!

Dream On!

As I pause to reflect on dreams this day I am grateful for many things.  First, I am glad I refused to listen to those who told me that establishing a scholarship was too burdensome.  I'm thinking that the burden would have come had I NOT started the scholarship.  Second, I am thankful that Given followed the courage of his dreams for a better life and that the Shepherds acted on the courage of their convictions.  The world is and will continue to be a better place because of their stands!  Third, I am encouraged to know that dreams live on in the hearts of people just like you and me; for without the emergence of dreams, hope would be only a memory!

Today, I urge you to dream on!  Get in touch with your dreams for a better life; a better job; an answer to a particular problem that plagues children; a way to support that charity you so dearly love; the desire to make a difference in the lives of others!  What opportunities present themselves to you today in the form of dreams?  What action or actions are within your power to initiate today?  What follow-through steps are needed in order to solidify your dream's chances of realization?  Even if you have cast your dreams aside, go over to that heap, sift through the pile, pick up your dream, dust it off and make it more than a dream!  Make it a reality!

Until next time . . . Peace!

Mark

Copyright 2009 Mark E. Hundley

 

 

 

When All Seems LOST!

LOST is More than a Television Show

I must admit that I am likely one of the biggest fans of LOST!  I love that show!  So many subtle slashes at our collective psyches intent on pushing us to examine life from different perspectives.  Oh, there are other favorite television shows of mine that do the same thing, but LOST does the job in ways that the others do not!

As much as I love watching LOST, I am keenly aware that LOST is more than a television show!  For all of us, at one time or another, LOST is a reality!  Life comes along, dishes out a "mean time" that knocks us out ot the air and slams us to the turf.  Then it seems as if Life stands over us, taunting us to get up - threatening to thrash us some more if we dare do so!  Yes, Life can be a bully sometimes.  In those times when Life does tap its darker side, LOST is what we feel - what we experience - what we are!

Those are the times when all seems LOST!

A Personal Reflection

Today, January 24, 2009, marks the twentieth anniversary of an event that caused me to feel more lost than at any other time in my life thus far!  As I sit before the keyboard this morning, I have a hard time believing that twenty years have passed since that fateful morning.  So much happened that day and even more has taken place since then -- enough to fill a book!  Don't worry, though!  I will NOT write a book here -- just a reflection of this anniversary.

You see, January 24, 1989, dawned as so many other days -- just one more normal day.  My wife, Christy - a teacher at Plano East Senior High School, our then seven year-old daughter, Kacie and I each had plans for that day that were unremarkable; routine; normal.  Little did we know that drastic, extraordinary change awaited us a mere few hours in the future.

Christy left the house at 7:10 am for her job.  I continued assisting Kacie in getting ready for school and her "Brownie" meeting after school.  I mentally outlined my day. 

At around 7:20 am, I heard a siren in the distance.  A voice inside said, "That's Christy!"  I was startled and incredulous as to the reason for that insane intrusion into my mind.

Around 7:40 am, the phone rang and I was informed by the police dispatcher that Christy had been involved in an accident and that I needed to go to the hospital as quickly as possible.

Around 7:45 am, while working to comfort Kacie, I made three calls -- to her school, to Christy's parents and to my best friend -- and proceeded to take Kacie to school and then rush to the hospital.

From 8:10 to 9:10 am, the waiting room was a flurry of activity -- friends, family, co-workers and community members congregating at the hospital as news spread of the accident.  Periodic updates from the operating room provided clouded hope.

At 9:10 am, the primary surgeon on Christy's case entered the waiting room and time stood still.  I knew before he spoke, yet his words served as an emotional wrecking ball.  "I'm sorry to tell you this, Mr. Hundley.  There is no easy to tell you, but . . . your wife is dead!"  That emotional wrecking ball crashed into my back, knocking me to the floor where I remained face-down, reeling from the impact of the news.

Almost immediately, I found myself looking down on the surreal picture of ME on the floor with people urging me to get up -- telling me that everything was going to be all right!  I recall saying to myself, "All right, hell!  Things will NEVER be all right again!"

After a few moments, I heard an internal voice address me.  "Mark, there are lots of people here and they don't know what to say and they don't know what to do!  There are lots of decisions to be made and the only person who can make them is YOU . . . so, get up and start making them NOW!"  I immediately found myself back with myself and responded to the internal prompting.  I got up, sat on the sofa and began talking with the doctor -- doing the next thing in front of me.

I became aware of a sermon delivered by my college pastor, Dr. James Flamming in February 1974 entitled, "Living in the Meantimes."  He said, "When your mean time comes, you must learn to do three things.  You must learn to lean heavily on God.  You must learn to lean heavily on your friends and family.  You must learn to DO THE NEXT THING!"  Those three simple directions became my personal mantra.

The Toughest "Next Thing!"

Not long after I finished talking with the doctor, the door opened and Kacie was brought to me.  She looked scared and confused.

"Daddy, how's Mommy?"

I motioned for her to sit in my lap.  "Kacie, Mommy won't be coming home with us again.  Her body was hurt too badly in the accident and it won't work anymore.  Kacie, Mommy is dead!"

The news hit her as it had me, only she wept silently.  I will never forget the the experience of holding her close while sobs of grief convulsed her little body.  I feel her devastated seven year-old body in my lap even today!  After what seemed like an eternity, she spoke.

"What do we do NOW, Daddy?"

"Honey, I'm not sure, but I do know this -- We have our Faith, we have our Family and Friends and we have Each Other . . . and we're going to make it!

As I sat there on that fateful morning, I became keenly aware of the gravity of the tasks that lay ahead and I did not want to give her false hope.  At some deeper level, I pictured myself with Kacie in my lap -- with BOTH of us in God's lap and I asking the same question -- "What do we do NOW, Daddy?"  

The Journey

I can say with surety that over the past twenty years, the mantra has worked.  I have sought to employ its power and truth at every turn in my life -- with varying degrees of success depending on how many times I sought to "go it alone" rather than reach out or inward.

When all seemed LOST, I found hope, power and direction to move me through the pain and toward a new and different life that awaited creation.  I continue to tap the power of that mantra even today and likely will for the rest of my life.

The journey that began for Kacie and me that day was'nt the only journey that commenced.  There were others touched by the events of that day.

To Christy's parents, all seemed LOST when one of their three children died.

To Christy's grandparents, all seemed LOST as one of their grandchildren disappeared from their lives.

To Christy's students, all seemed LOST because their beloved teacher and friend entered into the pages of history, never to be seen in person again.

To Christy's colleagues, all seemed LOST due to the removal of her love and enthusiasm for her chosen career.

To many others -- too numerous to mention -- all seemed LOST to some degree because she no longer trod the paths of this world.

If pain and loss and absence and despair were the only byproducts of such an experience, then perhaps I would be unable to write these words on this day.  Gratefully, that is not the case.

Living  off the Interest

In the process of learning to live in the "Meantimes" of this experience, I have been privileged to live off the interest of the active relationship that ended on that day twenty years ago.  Here are just a few of the positives that have come as a result of my choices to engage life, mourn this loss, reconcile myself to its effects and integrate its lessons into the fabric of who I am.

1. I met and married Vanessa - a blessing for which I am grateful every day I breathe!
2. In addition to my lovely daughter, Kacie, I gained two wonderful children -- Chris and Brandy!
3. I was able to recreate a career path that includes counseling, writing, speaking and teaching!
4. I have been privileged to join together with six other concerned professionals to found The Journey of Hope Grief Support Center a non-profit that provides free group grief support to children, adolescents and their parents or adult caregivers as they learn to mourn the death or impending death of a loved one.
5. I have written one book, Awaken to Good Mourning, that has found its way into the hands of 40,000 people providing comfort and guidance for their journeys of grief.

6. I have spoken to thousands across the country -- sharing my story and providing hope in the process -- a truly humbling experience.

The list could go on, but I promised no book this time around!

It sometimes seems only moments ago!

As I spoke with Kacie this morning, the familiar emotional swell surrounding the events of twenty years ago began bubbling to the surface yet again.

Kacie shared how very difficult this week leading up to the twentieth anniversary of her mother's death has been.  She described a dark hole that cannot be filled, developing in her heart with a throbbing pulse all its own -- an apt description of what can happen when a child loses a parent.  She will spend time today processing, thinking, feeling, writing and talking -- as will I!

Twenty years!  I find it almost incomprehensible that it has been that long -- but it has.  So many with whom I have had the privilege of working through the years share similar sentiments when processing the death of a loved one.  That's just part of the process. 

Tears pooled in my eyes and my voice cracked this morning as I told Kacie how very proud of her I was on that day twenty years ago and how very proud I am of her now and how much I love her.  Life is so very precious -- too precious to take for granted.  I am reminded of the importance of cramming every moment with as much love and patience and caring and meaning as possible so that when those moments from the past are experienced as if they just happened, we will be able to reflect regret free!  Tall order, but doable if we will but remember the mantra!

When all seems LOST!

Thank you for allowing me to share these personal reflections today.  I know that many of you may be in the middle of a time in your life where all seems LOST!  Others of you may be struggling with the aftermath of an event that has passed but still seeks to take control of your thoughts, emotions and actions.  Still others of you perhaps live in fear that something will happen soon that might cause you to feel that all  is LOST!

Remember, part of living this life means that we will experience events from time to time that cause us to come face-to-face with the fear that all is LOST.  When that happens, my hope is that you find comfort, guidance and strength in the mantra.

1. Lean heavily on God or your Faith.
2. Lean heavily on your Friends and Family (the resources around you).
3. Learn to Do the Next Thing (staying connected with the reality of what lies ahead by tapping into our personal strength).

Where are you today?  With what are you struggling?  Are you seeking to go it alone?  What would keep you from adopting the mantra?  I urge to you do so!

Until next time . . . Peace!

Mark

P.S. Please visit website for The Journey of Hope at http://www.johgriefsupport.org to see how others just like you are learning to live with hope!

Copyright 2009 Mark E. Hundley

The Battle to Believe!

The Battle - A "Life Constant!"

I find myself in the midst of the battle -- yet again!  Perhaps you are there as well.  I know that we all battle with someone or someTHING each and every day -- it's just that there are times the battle appears more intense.  I know that is true in my life!  I am guessing you understand this perspective!

As much as I would welcome a cessation in the skirmishes I encounter along life's path, more often than not they pull a sneak attack at the most inopportune times!  Right?  Yep! I thought you were with me!  In what battle are you in the midst of at the moment?  Mine?  Well, it is the battle to BELIEVE -- a battle that periodically raises its more than ugly head!  I have almost perfected my skills at predicting its arrival -- ALMOST, I said!  It is as if this sinister little Son-of-a-bucket (which by the way is a splinter) frees itself from the confines of the cell in which I have confidently placed it and finds a way to pierce the most tender part of my resolve -- rendering me nearly deflated!

Yep!  That's where I find myself as I write this night!  Pierced to the quick and nearly deflated.  Questioning my judgment!  Doubting my wisdom!  Casting my own shadow over life possibilities!  Tossing out mental and spiritual land mines on the path in front of me -- practicing the fine art of self-sabotage.  

Wow, Mark!  Now this is damned positive and uplifting stuff!  Gee thanks!  What are you doing -- dousing the fire with kerosene?

No!  I am working to communicate honestly and transparently  -- something that is necessary as we battle together to create the lives we desire!  I know, this kind of honesty and transparency might cause one to feel uncomfortable; however, without it we have no hope of winning the battles we face!

As much as I would like to just give up and give in at times, I am unable to do so!  "Why?" You ask!  Well you see, I have been made aware of too much information to stay in the "give up" state of mind for too long.  Damn!  I almost wish I were not as aware as I am!  I might find bliss in ignorance -- nah, not really!  All that remaining in that state of mind promises is more of the same -- and frankly friends, that is not the way I want to live life!

"OK, if you can't stay in that frame of mind for too long, what do you do?"

Yeah, well.  I knew that question was coming -- always does!  Once I have admitted to myself that I am in the "Battle to Believe" yet again, I shift into reciting The Four Givens -- remember those from previous essays?  They are Life is a Struggle; Lives are Shattered;  Life Goes On; and Relationships Do Continue! 

I work to embrace those realities in order to remind myself that I am not being singled out by the Universe, God or some other Cosmic Power to serve as a lesson to mankind of how to NOT live life!  As I engage this process I quickly realize that my mood begins to shift!  I am able to extract the painful splinter from under the finger nail of my resolve and step toward the possibilities of my life.

The Possibilities -- A "Life Option!"

Without the option of possibilities, this battle to believe just might not be worth fighting!  Without the option of possibilities, I might become a simple victim of circumstance!  Without the option of possibilities, I might never know the power of dreams!  The "Givens" in life are . . . well . . . givens!  I am unable to do much if anything about eliminating those.  Possibilities?  Now THAT'S different subject altogether.  The option of possibilities pushes me to shed the painful familiarity of self-doubt and dare to pursue my dreams.

I wrote a short story once entitled HeartWinds in which the main character, Eugene, enters into a pivotal battle with belief as his heart beckons him yet again to abandon his doubt and pursue his dreams.  In the story, Eugene finds himself alone on a windswept plain nearly crushed by the intensity of the struggle -- determined this time to either emerge victorious or forever bury his dreams!  Ultimately, with the help of a rather enigmatic guide, he taps the courage necessary to follow his heart and in the process, empowers himself to receive the benefits of doing so!

I recognize a little of Eugene in me this day!  Perhaps you do as well!  Dreams, when they take root in our hearts, tend not to die easily -- no matter how much we might want to wish them away at times!  Dreams -- Possibilities -- are ALWAYS a life option!  ALWAYS! 

Ah!  Already my mood is shifting even further toward belief as I contemplate the power of possibilities!

The Work -- A "Life Requirement!"

You know, I wish sometimes that fighting the battle of belief and determining to follow my dreams did not take so much work!  I mean, really!  How long and hard do we have to work in order to realize those dreams?  The answer?  As long at it takes! 

Yep!  Whenever I find myself kneeling in the desert of my own despair; fending off the winds of doubt; and tending to the emotional wounds of self-denigration -- wishing I could just stop, the strangest thing occurs.  I find that words of wisdom from multiple sources begin to bubble to the surface of my consciousness.  Like tiny nano-machines programmed to eliminate my "stinkin thinkin," the words smooth out my frayed nerves; clarify my foggy perceptions; and invigorate my resolve!  What are some of those words?  Allow me to share:

"Do or Do Not!  There is no Try!" -- Yoda

"I'm a twenty-year, overnight success story!" -- Ronnie Dunn

"This is difficult . . . truly . . . but not impossible! -- Dr. Byron Medler

Thoughts become things!" -- The Secret

"Trying is merely thinking about doing.  Working is actually DOING! -- Dr. Byron Medler

"Ask and you will receive.  Seek and you will find.  Knock and the door will be opened to you!" Jesus

Now THOSE are some pretty powerful words -- words that more often than not, set me back on the path of pursuit!  As I recite and meditate on them, something dynamic begins to stir my heart and mind!  The fires of belief are once again stoked!  My dreams emerge from the fog with greater clarity!  My sense of purpose and destiny finds center stage and I am able to enter the fray yet again -- more confident than before

A Final Thought!

I can only assume that this battle to believe will surface again down the road.  That is the way of life!  My only hope is the knowledge that I possess the resources necessary to engage in the battle with confidence -- understanding full well that without struggle, there is no victory!

With what are you struggling today?  Which of your dreams have taken a hit?  In what areas are you less confident?   In which arenas is hope fading?As the Srcipture says, "FEAR NOT! PEACE! BE STILL

• Stop where you are!
• Close your eyes!
• Take a deep breath and let it out . . . Now . . . take another . . . let it out!
• Focus!
• Relax!
• Clear your mind! Become a blank screen!
• Allow your own personal words of wisdom to surface in your mind!
• Absorb their power!
• Now, turn to face your battle to believe . . . and . . . WIN!

Until next time . . . PEACE

Mark

Copyright 2009 Mark E. Hundley

Just One Thing!

Happy New Year!

Whew!  The New Year is finally here!  So many have written so much about just getting through 2008 in hopes of turning things around in 2009!  Let's face it, 2008 was a real booger bear of a year on all fronts!  I don't know of a person on the planet that was not affected in some way by the multiple "mean times" experienced over the last twelve months!  Perhaps the New Year will bring with it winds that will blow a different way for us all.

But . . . wait a minute!  Who am I kidding?  Doesn't EVERY year carry the same possibilities -- the same opportunities -- the same potential?  Are we likely to go through an entire year that is completely happy in the sense that we tend to think of happiness?  Doesn't every year hold surprises for us -- surprises both difficult and exciting at the same time?  Doesn't every year await our action?  In that light, "Happy New Year" becomes a greeting exchanged as the calendar marks the turning of yet another 365 days (unless of course we are in a Leap Year)!  "Happy New Year" often scurries down its "hidey hole" at its first encounter with reality only to reappear at the next changing of the Time Guard.

I'm really not being negative here -- truly!  I would just like to alter our wishes for a Happy New Year into determinations more useful and lasting.  Care to join me?

The Proverbial New Year's Resolutions

Right off the bat, New Year's Resolutions hit us in the face!  I used to make them; however, I have determined that making simple resolutions becomes a rather futile attempt to exert control over the yet to be determined outcome of a year in waiting!

I challenge you to do a little Googling on New Year's Resolutions!  You'll find all sorts of stats to indicate the almost inherent uselessness of such endeavors!  In all fairness, there are some who find ways to positively spin resolutions -- but the vast majority of articles and blogs point to the ultimate failure of resolutions.

Well, if resolutions are not the answer, then what is?  Glad you asked (even if you didn't)!

Let's Move to Goal-Setting

Now you're talking!  Setting goals!  That's the ticket -- well, that's a better ticket than merely spouting off resolutions!

At least when we set goals, we actually are forced to examine what we want to accomplish, in what time-frame, for what purposes, in what manner, etc.  We are even forced to establish contingency plans in some instances in case our original goals become victim to life's sidetracking!  Goal-setting holds some rather convincing advantages over making resolutions that often have no teeth whatsoever.

Research points to the likelihood of more success when one sets a goal and actually writes that goal down on paper!  Go ahead, set some goals for the New Year!  Spend time pouring over the areas of your life that demand attention and change!  Read and research all you can about effective goal-setting and then purpose to follow the advice you glean from your activities.  I have no doubt that you will experience more success in your life than if you didn't.

As much as goal-setting ramps up the possibilities for success, I am still not convinced we have found the strategy that holds the power to make 2009 truly different from any we have experienced.  "OK, Baldy -- what do YOU think can help us?"  I guess you know I'm gonna answer that one, don't you?  Here goes!

Just ONE THING!

I don't know about you, but sometimes when I participate in goal-setting activities, I get lost in the goal itself.  You know what I mean -- crafting the perfect goal or goals as the case may be!  I detail all the steps; lay out all the contingencies; establish all the parameters; determine all the intended outcomes.  Then I go about the business of getting lost in the details.  I know, I know -- many of you already have ready answers to my faulty goal-setting system just chomping at the bits to be shared.  Well, let's hold on just a minute.  I have an idea that I think addresses MY issues -- and perhaps yours as well -- as they relate to accomplishing what I desire to accomplish in this New Year.

I call my plan ONE THING!  Simple enough don't you think?  ONE THING -- just ONE!  I recently posed a question on Twitter related to what one thing a person might focus on in order to accomplish a specific purpose and received some rather interesting feedback in the process.  Most of it focused on establishing goals rather than resolutions -- an exercise I've already briefly addressed.  Other responders wondered what they could do if they had MORE THAN ONE THING to address in their lives.

I realized that my ONE THING plan needed to be explained a little better.  Often as I struggle with life, I find myself reducing my tasks to the lowest common denominator in order to determine the steps necessary to successfully address my personal challenges.  Through the years, I have found that asking people to focus on just one thing for a specific period of time often provides keys for them to get a handle on their situation and feel more confident in their ability to find answers.

Here is how the ONE THING plan works.  Ask yourself, "What is one thing I can do consistently over the next (you fill in the time period) that will likely create the kind of change I wish to achieve?"  You see?  ONE THING!  It's just that simple -- but if you look under the surface, the simplicity is deceiving.

Take, for example, a student struggling with grades in school.  I would ask that student to determine "one thing" he would be willing to do over a set period of time on a daily basis that might help him earn stronger grades.  For a business person, I would ask her to determine "one thing" she would be willing to devote action to over a set period of time on a daily basis in order to get a handle on a specific business challenge facing her.  For a married couple, I would ask them to come up with "one thing" they would be willing to do together over a set period of time on a daily basis in order to strengthen their relationship.

Get the picture?  That "one thing"becomes the touch point -- the driving force -- the baseline for all other actions taken.  Now in all fairness, I understand that we have multiple arenas that demand our attention.  I am not necessarily saying that "just one thing" will impact multiple areas at once(although I believe there is extreme merit in this possibility).  I am saying however, that focusing our attention on just one thing can teach us the power of concentration -- a lesson that can then be applied to other areas of life as well.

Perhaps you desire to apply this plan to your the mental, physical, emotional, social, spiritual, relational, professional or personal areas of your life!  Go ahead!  Knock yourself out!  But remember, concentrate on just one thing in each area -- not several things in each area!

How Might This Work?

In order to provide groundwork for your experiment with the ONE THING plan, let's look at an example.  Suppose I determine that I want to lose ten pounds.  Instead of proclaiming it as a resolution or working out a detailed goal, what if I simply determined to write down everything I eat on a daily basis and do so for a month?  That one action -- employed consistently each day -- will provide valuable information about what I need to do next in my process.  I will have hard data from which to determine my next ONE THING to do in order to lose ten pounds!  See how this might work?

The Formula

I would like to outline the basic formula for the ONE THING plan so that we can get started today!

1. Determine which area (or areas if you are adventurous) you want to address first.  Will you choose the personal, professional, mental, spiritual, emotional, social or relational area?  The really cool thing is that YOU get to choose!
2. Once you have selected the area of your life on which you wish to concentrate, spend some time going over action options you have available to you in addressing your chosen area.
3. Decide which action step to which you will commit on a daily basis and for how long you will engage in the determined action.
4. Write down your intended outcome -- what you anticipate you will accomplish at the end of the time-frame.
5. Be ready to congratulate yourself for what will happen as a result of your investment!

Now I am the first to recognize that some of us may stumble a time or two in the process.  In light of that possibility, be ready to forgive yourself and get back on the wagon immediately!  No problem!

Final Thoughts

Hey!  If making resolutions works for you, SUPER!  Go ahead and make 'em until the cows come home!  If you prefer setting goals and have a sure-fire system in place, by all means continue on with your tried and true plan!  However, if you are interested in giving a different plan a chance to work its magic, then determine to apply the principles of the ONE THING plan and see what happens!

I would love to hear from those of you who take up this challenge.  Help me fine tune this plan so that others can benefit from your experience!  Thanks in advance for your assistance!

Until next time . . . Peace . . . and Success!

Mark

Copyright 2009 Mark E. Hundley

An Exercise in Miracles!

My Silent Friend . . .

The pre-dawn grayness served as the cover for my silent friend's stealthy approach as I slept.  He quietly crept through the partially closed door to the bedroom and stood beside me -- willing my mind to stir into conscious engagement!  My friend's name you ask?  Why "Miracle Max" of course!  No! Not the MM from The Princess Bride -- that MM might have caused other reactions!  The Miracle Max to whom I refer today is the one who visits from time to time -- always with reminders that "Miracles Abound!"

He constantly brings messages and stories that highlight the miraculous in daily living!  This morning was no different -- with one exception!  I perceived an urgency in his desire to deliver his stories -- an urgency not present in previous visits!  Before my eyes opened I heard his whispers -- "Hurry!  Time's-a-wastin!  You've gotta get to exercisin!"  If you didn't notice, this Miracle Max is a Texan!  I knew what his statement meant -- not exercise as in physical, but exercise as in mental!  He wanted me to write something!

The energy and excitement with which his words were delivered forced me from the warmth of my bed and led me to the keyboard. "OK!  Here I am, Maxie!  What's next?"  The words no sooner formed than he began revealing the pictures he had for me this morning!  They came at me in rapid fire succession -- so many so quickly that I fear I may have missed more than I caught!  Every time Maxie visits, I know that my job is to put down as much as I can remember . . . so . . . here goes!

Miracles of Family!

Holidays tend to be times for families to get together -- share old memories; make new ones; visit; love; argue; make up -- you know what I mean.  Now I can only assume that most families have some semblance of functionality -- maybe not complete functionality, but certainly enough to provide the foundation for its members to become positively contributing members of society!  There are families however, that are completely dysfunctional -- families for whom chaos, wrapped in all manner of hurtful words and actions, is the norm.  Invariably, there are a few members of such families who recognize the dysfunction and work to connect with others who are more functional.  The relationships that develop from such searches can be defined as "Families of Choice!"  Now, we all likely have some of those "families of choice" -- people for whom we feel deep affection -- people who are often "more family than family!"

I have many in my life who have become a part of my own personal "Family of Choice" through the years.  I am sure that as you read this, people come to mind who are part of YOUR special circle of love as well!

Over the past year, I have been privileged to make a new friend.  In fact, she and her family have become rather special to me.  Recently Lynne Weinberger, my new friend, shared a poem she wrote that captures the miracle of family in a way Max insisted needs to be shared.  So, with Lynne's permission and blessing, I want to share her poem.

Christmas 2008

I tried and tried with all my might –

just couldn’t get this letter right.

The words are far between and few.

Suffice to say, not much is new.

On average things are much the same:

Less hair, more wrinkles…but can’t complain!

The boys are handsome, dark and tall,

Pinch me, Chas and I do ‘have it all’ --

Health, contentment, peace of mind,

loving families, friends so kind.

A balmy climate, back roads to RIDE,

(Helps ease news of the 401K slide.)

We’ve got each other through thick and thin;

 Not our waistlines -- those vows we penned.

Both boys are juniors – their dreams await;

An empty nest is at our gate.

So much to do, yet time keeps flyin’

Our ‘Bucket List’ grows without much tryin’.

This letter’s like Seinfeld -- so much was said

About so little; and yet, instead,

It helps to remind me, each year we live

It’s not what we have…but what we give.

This Christmastime, our fervent hope

Is for you not to get any soap on a rope

Or socks, or fruitcakes, or worse, Chia pets!

Just the hand of a friend when you need it

…the best.   

 

 

The Miracles of Influence

On the heels of Lynne's words, Max shifted my focus to the miracle of influence.  In addition to my parents, three men have played an invaluable role in my life.  Dr. James Flaming, Dr. Clint Dunagan and the late Dr. Byron Medler have served and continue to serve as mentors, role models and teachers.  The wisdom, sensitivity and insight with which they engaged the world have had a lasting impact on my life.  I only hope that I may be able to influence others in the same ways they have influenced me!

Max also reminded me of five other men -- two of which I knew in high school and the other three I met on the first day of college at Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene in August 1971 -- who have served and continue to serve as sources of inspiration in my life.  Each one has faced life with purpose, determination and sensitivity unequaled.  I am grateful for the influence of Fred, Ronnie, Doyle, Randy and Larry.

"Ted!  Don't forget Ted," Max chimed as I reflected on men of influence!  How could I forget Ted.  He has been there for me so many times in so many ways! 

Max whispered, "The fact that these men have entered your life is a miracle beyond comprehension!"  I had to agree completely.  My heart grew warm as I reflected on those influential men.

Miracles of Sacrifice

It is not likely that you need reminders of those who have sacrificed life or limb since 9/11 in the service of our country!  Stories of courage abound.  Max did remind me however, that we need to pay more attention to these brave men and women as a country on a daily basis and not just on Veteran's Day or Memorial Day! 

Miracles of Determination

Max continued his parade of reminders -- far too many to mention -- of people faced with extraordinary challenges who meet them every day with determination beyond description!  You might have read the story of the young girl who was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy with no anticipation that she would ever walk.  Her mother is a soldier having seen action in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places in the world.  This young girl's determination enabled her to not only walk, but run to her mother's arms in the airport recently!  "Thanks Max, for that reminder!"  Would that we could all be that determined in the face of insurmountable challenges!

Miracles of Taking . . . and then Giving Back!

Recently in the Dallas area, a story ran about a young mother with cancer who does not have long to live -- perhaps two years if she is fortunate.  The story goes that she has chronicled her life via pictures taken with a camera -- a camera she has had for a long time --  which possesses great sentimental value.  It seems that one day while she was in a store doing some shopping, a man broke into her car and stole this prized possession -- with undeveloped film still inside.  She was devastated beyond words!

The local ABC affiliate ran a story on the theft in hopes that someone would recognize the person caught on video surveillance.  As part of the story, they detailed her fight with cancer.

Not long after the story ran, the camera appeared in a package addressed to the reporter who wrote the story.  In a follow up story, the reporter took the camera to the woman and after a brief conversation, surprised her with it!  She was overjoyed and shed tears of disbelief and gratitude.  Even in tough times, desperate people who do desperate things can be touched by the miracle of humanity.

Miracles of the Viral Nature!

Max possesses a sharp sense of the ironic as well.  He reminded me of the peculiarity of asking outlandish questions of strangers!  Maybe you remember the young lady not long ago who found herself in debt beyond her means to manage.  She came up with the idea of using the Internet to ask for assistance in clearing up her debt!  She asked total strangers all over the country to send her a dollar to help retire her debt.  Ridiculous, right?  NOPE!

To her amazement -- and apparently that of others as well -- the money began flowing in!  Her request "went viral" and spread like wildfire!  Not only did she receive enough to retire her debt, people sent her MORE THAN ENOUGH!  What did she do with the overage?  She began donating it to charities.  Wow!

Miracles of Asking!

As my interaction with my good friend Miracle Max began winding down, he challenged me to take all the lessons learned from the miracles mentioned previously and put something out there for consideration.  Now, I must admit, I am a bit skeptical yet at the same time hopeful that what I'm about to do will "go viral" as well.  No!  I'm not asking you to send me money!  What I am asking is for you to consider becoming part of a miracle in the making!

You see, the tough economic times in which we find ourselves touches more than just families and businesses.  It affects non-profits as well!  So very many non-profits do tremendous work that often goes unnoticed.

The non-profit dearest to my heart is The Journey of Hope Grief Support Center!  I love this organization beyond words!  Not only am I a co-founder, I see how valuable its work is to the well-being of families touched by the shadow of death -- especially the children in those families!

Here is my question -- "Would you consider becoming 'One in a Million' people willing to give just one dollar to The Journey of Hope sometime between now and next Christmas?  Would you?"  For the price of a soda, you can help ensure that the vital work that the Journey conducts will continue for a long time to come!  "Would you help this request go viral by sharing it with as many people as you know?  Would you please?"

Max is right here beside me telling me that it is possible!  "I believe you, Max!  I really do!"

I invite you to visit The Journey of Hope Grief Support Center website and peruse the stories of children touched by this wonderful organization.  I promise to keep you posted on the progress of this campaign over the next twelve months!  The website is http://www.johgriefsupport.org

I thank you on behalf of children and families served by The Journey!

Miracles of Contemplation

As you spend time with friends and family between now and the end of the year, I encourage you to contemplate the miracles in YOUR life as well.  Write them down.  Share them with others.  Become a part of the miracle miracle making exercise!  Miracle Max will be happy . . . and so will I!

Until next time . . . Peace!

Mark

Copyright 2008 Mark E. Hundley