Opposites Attract?
This is a saying we have all heard and likely have repeated from time to time -- Opposites Attract! But, let's examine it a moment. How true is this statement . . . really? Do opposites truly attract and if so, for how long? From my experience, when complete opposites come together -- whether in relationships, business partnerships, joint endeavors, religious discussions or political debates -- the chemistry is often charged with intensely stimulating interplay! The initial intrigue and interest generated in the exchange of ideas and philosophies tends to create a sense of anticipation -- perhaps unlike any ever experienced by the participants.
All parties involved may find themselves swept up in the uniqueness of the relationship, exhilarated by the ambient energy inherent in the unlikely collaboration and unable to clearly recognize warning signs that exist. Even when the novelty begins to wear thin, participants tend to brush aside differences hoping to recapture the initial excitement. More often than not, these relationships so fraught with potential in the beginning, either end with a disappointing whimper or a loud and obnoxious bang! I acknowledge that there are exceptions -- there are always exceptions -- but my experience tells me that this is the rule. In the end the more alike we are the better chance we have of sustaining a meaningful connection.
The Same Kind of Crazy
Back in 2000, Delbert McClinton recorded a rollicking song entitled, The Same Kind of Crazy. In it he describes meeting a woman who completely turns his world upside down! He just can't get enough of her and apparently, the same is true on her part as well -- she can't get enough of him! What's the attraction? Well, as Delbert puts it, "Ain't no doubt about it. She's the same kind of crazy as me!" She is different from any other woman with whom he has had a relationship because she is more alike him that she is opposite!
When like attracts like, a sense of cohesiveness tends to emerge as the glue that holds the relationship together. The Myers-Briggs Type Inventory -- or MBTI as it is popularly known -- verifies this assertion. Basically, it tells us that the more two people are alike in approach, the more likely they are to create a lasting partnership. Now, in all fairness, the research associated with the MBTI indicates that positive relationships can exist between and among people of more divergent types as long as they are trained to understand and appreciate differences. Still, the truth of the matter is that the more we are alike, the better chance we have. We have an old folk saying that states it in a way we can all remember -- "Birds of a feather flock together!"
Let's face it, Sameness works . . . Until it doesn't anymore!
When the "Same Kind of Crazy" Becomes Destructive
I know you have heard the following definition of insanity -- heard it and perhaps chuckled at its raw truth! It goes, "One definition of insanity is to continue to do what you have always done and expect a different result!" Remember? Yeah, I thought so. This definition refers to the other side of the "Same Kind of Crazy" coin. This side reflects on the part of human nature that seeks familiarity and sameness when divergence would be the better path.
More often than not, this side shows itself when we are faced with times of uncertainty. Whether as individuals or corporate bodies, there is a tendency to follow the path of least resistance (that which we have always done) when faced with daunting challenges. We often find ourselves personifying the definition of insanity mentioned above. We retreat to the familiar and comfortable when we would be better served by doing something differently. We fall victim to the "Same Kind of Crazy!"
I know that I tread a fine line here -- one that often divides people into opposing camps. My guys vs. your guys! As risky as walking this line can be, I believe that our crazy times demand addressing the related issues. I am not here to make political statements championing or demeaning one party over the other! That would be pointless and fall into the "Same Kind of Crazy-making" that already exists. My goal is to present an option worth consideration and ask some questions that demand an audience.
In simplistic terms, I believe that we as a nation -- perhaps even a world -- have fallen prey to the allure of the familiar. We have made some very unwise choices along the way ignoring the potential negative ramifications associated with them. We have continued to act as if we are immune to the consequences of opting for the "Same Kind of Crazy" in our personal and corporate decision making processes.
We -- and I mean all of us -- individuals, corporations, governmental bodies, churches -- have fallen victim to credit addictions, immediate gratification syndromes, denials of the obvious, refusals to investigate the bigger picture, name callings, destructive generalizations, hurtful categorizations and all manner of other destructive behaviors too numerous to mention.
The Time of Possibility?
We are faced with unparalleled difficulties on all fronts . . . and I mean ALL FRONTS! The world is in a mess -- a BIG ONE! The collective MESS in which we find ourselves is a multi-headed monster not easily attacked. In effect, we live in a time of immense struggle that is also ironically an immeasurable time of possibility! And what are we doing with this unparalleled set of opportunities? Well, a large number of us -- perhaps more than we know -- are giving in to the "Same Kind of Crazy;" doing what we have always done and expecting a different result!
We live in a time when bailouts followed by bonuses are commonplace (despicable but true). We reward mis-management with promotions and lavish trips/parties. We recognize flagrant misbehavior by hovering over and rescuing the miscreants. We promote and praise partisan politics even when we have promised to do otherwise. We sacrifice our future to feed the wanton appetites of the present.
Unless we choose to act differently, we run the risk of being remembered as the people that squandered the greatest possibility of history -- that of turning the world around and setting a new course! A time of possibility? Perhaps, but only if we choose a different path to travel.
The SANE Kind of Crazy!
No, this is NOT a misspelling! I purposely use the word SANE here! I want to make a point and perhaps spur our thinking. We have too much of the "Same Kind of Crazy" determining the course of our lives today! Most of what are called "new ideas" are really the old ones gussied up in new wrappings and monikers! Upon closer inspection nothing is effectively new or different!
Folks, I am convinced that the current times in which we live demand collective creative collaboration -- a blending of our minds, hearts, dreams, hunches, ideas and spirits in order to put into motion a synergy like none other in our history!
We are going to have to go CRAZY -- but do so in a SANE kind of way! If one definition of insanity is to do what we have always done and expect a different result, then one definition of sanity must surely be to do things differently and expect a different result! Makes sense on some foundational level doesn't it?
Just One Example of the "Sane Kind of Crazy" Principle
By now you have all likely read about the banker in Florida who, upon selling a major interest in his bank, doled out $60 Million of his own money to 399 current employees of the bank and another 72 who retired from his bank! Amazing? Undoubtedly! Crazy? You betcha! Sane? Obviously! WHAT? Obvious? Mark you must be . . . well . . . CRAZY to call that a sane move! Before you determine that I have completely lost my marbles, let me explain.
In reading one article about this phenomenal act of generosity, the banker shared that early on he realized that if the bank president didn't show up for work, it was no big deal most days. He did, however, realize that if tellers did not show up for work . . . well, that was another story! He decided that he wanted to reward loyalty, hard work, dedication and perseverance. Now these were no measly bonuses! No sir! Although they did not compare with the millions in tainted bonuses lavished on folks who may or may not have deserved them, they were extremely significant! The bonuses in many cases amounted to more than $100,000! Now I don't know about you, but I would be ecstatic to receive a check for $100,000 from an employer! Man, talk about having a great day!
This gentleman -- and I mean that in the truest sense of the word -- set an example of what I mean when I refer to the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle! On the surface one might be considered crazy to give away tens of millions of dollars that was rightfully his. Yet just under the surface, one sees the sanity in his actions! Imagine the retirement accounts that were bolstered; the medical bills that were paid; the school loans that were eliminated; the savings accounts started; the acts of paying forward that were initiated; the charities and non-profits that were beneficiaries! He set into motion a ripple effect of generosity, good will and genuine compassion! I love it!
Other Examples
The story of this banker's beneficence garnered headlines because of the magnitude and unusuall nature of his act; however, I hear of other folks out there acting on the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle. There are companies that, instead of laying off employees to protect that "ever important bottom line," are instead keeping employees and instituting across the board salary cuts for all employees as well as management and ownership! Now there's a thought! Instead of putting more people out of work, clogging the unemployment offices, choking the flow of commerce on the consumer level, they are telling their people that they value them and believe the downturn is temporary. Bravo to those companies and owners! Can you imagine the emotional and mental lift those employees are likely to experience knowing that their jobs are secure and they are valued?
I have also heard of folks giving back bonuses received in order to ensure employees retain jobs. Pretty cool, huh? Still others have devised ways to restructure corporate purchases and expenses in order to protect the integrity of their employees.
I am sure that you have heard of similar stories and I invite you to share them with us! These are the stories that need national media attention! These are the innovators who need our recognition! These are the ones who operate under the power of the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle! These are the people we need to lead us out of the tough times in which we find ourselves!
I Must Stop Now
I could likely go on and on with ideas and examples of how people are and can employ the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle but I won't for now! I will; however, share one insane idea about how some of the bank bailout money could have been used. Instead of giving multiple billions of dollars to banks to bail them out of messes they created, why couldn't we have studied the mortgages on all the banks books, determined how much would be necessary to pay off those mortgages (especially those in danger of foreclosure), paid the collective balances of those mortgages to the banks and then communicated with the mortgagees about what had happened?
What benefit could this bring? Well, the bank would have money funneled to them through the process of paying off mortgages on their books -- money in hand to the likely tune of millions to billions of dollars. Home owners would have a clear and free asset with substantial equity freeing up precious dollars for food, clothing and other necessities. Banks would have money to loan. Homeowners would have the possibility of accessing their equity via home equity loans if/when needed. Consumers could then have more money to save or invest. Additional debt could be addressed by the money saved from the monthly mortgage payment . . . Get the picture? Now I know I've likely missed some obvious problems with this idea and you can likely find all kinds of ways to shoot it down; however, maybe -- just maybe -- your creativity has been jogged!
Final Question
What about you? In what ways do you find yourself mired in the trap of acting under the presumptuous power of the "Same Kind of Crazy?" What problems do you face that have not responded to the same approach that you've always used? What issues are you perhaps pretending to not see?
May I challenge all of us to give the "Sane Kind of Crazy" principle a shot! Remember, changes in thinking and behavior are often slow to take hold; however, persistence will ultimately pay off! In order to reap a harvest of new outcomes, we must plant seeds consistent with our ultimate desires!
Thanks for reading the rantings of a somewhat crazy bald guy!
Until next time . . . Peace . . . and . . . Sanity!
Mark
Copyright 2009 Mark E. Hundley
Love the "Sane kind of crazy" expression... :)
I can sense that time for a change came, and it starts with every individual - and the very way we think about the world around us.
Not an easy task - but more and more people are consciously choosing to grow in every area of their lives, choosing to be happy, loving an peaceful.
I feel eternally grateful for each and every one of them, as well as for all those who are - or will be - willing to accept help and guidance.
Posted by: daria369 | March 08, 2009 at 06:04 PM
Mark, when the bank bailouts were being discussed last fall, our family wondered why the money was going to the institutions, not to the homeowners who were at the root of the problem. As I look at the so-called "stimulus" plan, I wonder how anything will impact the typical American and feel great frustration at the noise and fury. I've been involved in entrepreneurial businesses for the past five or six years, so I'm used to thinking outside the box. We're still on the steep uphill side of the success mountain, yet hopeful.
But my brain seems to be stuck on what else I can do today. Can you give us some idea starters?
Anne
Posted by: Anne | March 03, 2009 at 12:56 PM
Barbara, thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words! I am so hopeful that we can all begin to make a difference in each other's lives! We are all in this together and need to synergy of shared dreams, ideas, plans and efforts to create lasting change! You too keep up the great work in which you find yourself!
Posted by: Mark Hundley | March 02, 2009 at 10:20 PM
Creative idea and thinking, Mark. There are so many ways and things both the government and we individuals can do to turn the economy (and our Country) around using ethical, honest methods that work - that preserve instead of destroy our people and the country.
1. Take individual responsibility.
2. Keep government off our backs and the backs of those who employ people, take risks to maintain and grow their business.
3. Reward those people who pay their mortgage, manage their money by living within their means.
Interesting results from history. How long have we 'assisted people with free or almost free' money for various reasons? The assistance was provided so they would pull themselves UP and OUT of their bad situations.
Instead the number of people needing help has increased dramatically over 40 or 50 years to include their children, grandchildren now. It didn't work, it didn't help, it just grew the problem for those people, for the rest of society and increased the government budget.
Where are the winners in this? There are NONE, ZERO!
People in the programs became more independent upon handouts, are still unhappy, asking for more assistance today. They are personally devastated in their heart, mind and external life. And they’ve added their children and grandchildren to these devastating lives.
Society lost money and the productivity, creativity of the talents and abilities of all these people from the waste of their talents.
Government lost billions, maybe trillions of dollars that could have been redirected to beneficial projects to make our country and the world a better place.
Keep up the good work, Mark.
Barbara Filla
Business and Life Coach
Passionate about people, entrepreneurs and business.
Off the Record:
Mark, I will appreciate comments on this response. I would love to respond as I’m passionate about what you say and doing the right thing. I’m also respectful of your goals. So give me a personal shout at platinumbt@yahoo.com or 715-514-0904
Best to you. Barbara Filla
Posted by: Barbara Filla | March 02, 2009 at 07:23 PM