Every Step Has a Story . . . And Then Some

Dear Friends,

So much continues to happen regarding the Every Step Has a Story project! Without fail, every person that hears about the project expresses excitement and asks what he/she can do to be most supportive! Simply Amazing!

In this issue, I will share yet another story from the many personal journeys of loss and grief of which I am aware. I am hopeful that you will find ways to share these stories with others you think might benefit from hearing them.

Thanks for your continued interest.

Mark

Daryl's Story

Mom Said It Was Only a Headache I will never forget the first time I met Daryl (not his real name) at his home. I had received a call from his father asking if I minded coming to their home to visit with Daryl. I was more than happy to oblige. Daryl was a friendly, energetic, articulate nine year-old boy. At first glance, one would never know that Daryl carried a heavy burden of grief. His winsome smile almost hid the sadness that lurked just under the surface . . . Almost! One look into his eyes revealed the pain and uncertainty that sought dominance in his life. The source of this pain? Daryl's mother had died only one month before our meeting. As I sat down on the sofa across from Daryl and visited with both his father and him, I sensed that Daryl was eager for his father to leave the room . . . eager to tell me something . . . eager to talk about his sadness. This eagerness was consistent with what his father had told me. It seems that Daryl was somewhat reluctant to talk openly about his feelings of sadness with his father and had asked his dad to find someone he could talk to ~ thus the call to me. After a few minutes, Daryl's father excused himself and left the two of us alone in the living room. Almost immediately, Daryl said, "My mom died and I don't understand why! Can you help me understand why she had to die?" Wow! What a tall order! I knew that I did not have the answers to that question ~ I'm not sure anyone does . . . at least in the ways he sought to know. Instead of tackling the insurmountable, I suggested that he tell me about his mom and he did so with passion, excitement and tears. That initial meeting was just the first of several over the next few months. It seems that Daryl's father and mother had divorced two years prior to her death. Daryl lived with her for the first year and a half after the divorce. During that time period, his mother began to experience frequent, excruciating headaches. Every time she experienced one, she was unable to function to the point that eventually she and Daryl's father agreed that Daryl might be better taken care of if he lived with his father. I recall as Daryl shared that part of his story with me that he stopped and his eyes focused on a faraway place and he said, "Mom said it was only a headache . . . only a headache." The weekend she died, Daryl was visiting her in her home in a state contiguous to Texas. She had been feeling better and was confident that the latest treatment for her headaches might be working. At the dinner table on a Saturday night, she suddenly collapsed, complaining of severe head pain. Daryl's grandmother quickly called 911 and the paramedics took her to the hospital. Daryl's dad was notified and he rushed to Daryl's side as quickly as possible. Before midnight that night, Daryl's mother lost her battle to what was diagnosed ONLY after her death as a brain tumor. Daryl was crushed! Although the doctors misdiagnosed her condition, Daryl believed that his mom "knew" she had a brain tumor. He also believed that his mom told him "it was only a headache" to keep him from worrying about her. He said, "She was just that way . . . never wanted me to worry." Daryl found himself struggling to understand the incomprehensible . . . to make sense of the senseless . . . to find meaning in the meaningless. He did so with the support of a loving father, a caring extended family and a community dedicated to lend invaluable comfort. In the few months that Daryl and I worked together, I watched him struggle, cry, laugh, remember, express anger, sit quietly and find a path for his personal journey. Daryl and his father began attending support sessions at the The W.A.R.M. Place in Ft. Worth where they both found comfort and healing in the presence of others who walked similar paths. I'm not sure what happened to Daryl and his father. That is so often the case with counseling; however, I am confident that they found reconciliation of their grief and continue to walk the paths of healing to this day~ Not because of anything I did, but because of their choices to mourn their loss in ways that bring healing. I will always remember Daryl's courage, vulnerability and determination and I will always remember Daryl. I am a better person for having known him. I am hopeful that you can learn from Daryl as well.

Every Step Has a Story

And the Beat Goes On! Plans for the Every Step Has a Story project continue with new developments almost daily. I have shared that I feel as if I have stepped on a fast-moving train that began its journey headed for a pre-determined destination and that I am just along for the ride! We have finalized the itinerary for stops along the way. I have worked it out so that I will rest each Sunday of the month of April 2011 and not walk at all on those days. Following is the itinerary by date and stop. If you know anyone in any of these towns/cities, please share this information with them. Perhaps we can connect in some way prior to the walk or as we make a stop. April 2011 ~ Every Step Has a Story Itinerary Greenville, TX Sulphur Springs, TX Sulphur Springs, TX (Rest) Mt. Vernon, TX Naples, TX New Boston, TX Texarkana, TX Hope, AR Prescott, AR Prescott, AR (Rest) Arkadelphia, AR Malvern, AR Benton, AR Little Rock, AR Cabot, AR Searcy, AR Searcy, AR (Rest) Wynne, AR Earle, AR Memphis, TN Munford, TN Brownsville, TN Humboldt, TN Humboldt, TN (Rest) Camden, TN Waverly, TN Dickson, TN Fairview, TN Brentwood, TN Nashville, TN Other items of interest being addressed: We are working on acquiring the use of a tour bus as our "rolling headquarters" rather than  staying in a hotel at each stop along the way. I will meet with the local "Smart Car" dealership to see about the use of a Smart Car as the official "chase vehicle" to follow along with me as I walk. Black River Media/Films will produce the first press release related to the event within the next couple of weeks. My publisher will distribute a press release tying Awaken to Good Mourning and Every Step Has a Story within a few weeks. The UNT alumni publication The North Texan will run a story in its next issue as well as one in the spring of 2011 just prior to the walk. They will also post an expanded story in the soon to be launched online version of their alumni magazine. I will share more developments as they arise! In the meantime, thank you for your positive response, encouragement and input! I welcome them all!

Awaken to Good Mourning

Book Added as Ancillary Text We are excited to announce that Awaken to Good Mourning has been added as an ancillary resource text for graduate level counseling students in the UNT Counselor Education Program! The book will serve as a resource for counselors in training during the on campus practicum class ~ a class that requires counselors in training to work with clients under supervision. We continue to find ways to incorporate Awaken to Good Mourning into similar programs in other counselor training programs. If you know of a university counselor training program that might be interested, please let us know! Thanks!

Thank you for your continued interest in the projects and work of Awaken Associates and Mark Hundley. Together we can make a difference in the lives of many children and families. I look forward to sharing more information and stories in the very near future.

Until next time . . . Peace!

 

Sincerely,

 

Mark Hundley
Awaken Associates