|
|||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
|
Daryl's Story |
|
![]() I will never forget the first time I met Daryl (not his real name) at his home. I had received a call from his father asking if I minded coming to their home to visit with Daryl. I was more than happy to oblige. Daryl was a friendly, energetic, articulate nine year-old boy. At first glance, one would never know that Daryl carried a heavy burden of grief. His winsome smile almost hid the sadness that lurked just under the surface . . . Almost! One look into his eyes revealed the pain and uncertainty that sought dominance in his life. The source of this pain? Daryl's mother had died only one month before our meeting. As I sat down on the sofa across from Daryl and visited with both his father and him, I sensed that Daryl was eager for his father to leave the room . . . eager to tell me something . . . eager to talk about his sadness. This eagerness was consistent with what his father had told me. It seems that Daryl was somewhat reluctant to talk openly about his feelings of sadness with his father and had asked his dad to find someone he could talk to ~ thus the call to me. After a few minutes, Daryl's father excused himself and left the two of us alone in the living room. Almost immediately, Daryl said, "My mom died and I don't understand why! Can you help me understand why she had to die?" Wow! What a tall order! I knew that I did not have the answers to that question ~ I'm not sure anyone does . . . at least in the ways he sought to know. Instead of tackling the insurmountable, I suggested that he tell me about his mom and he did so with passion, excitement and tears. That initial meeting was just the first of several over the next few months. It seems that Daryl's father and mother had divorced two years prior to her death. Daryl lived with her for the first year and a half after the divorce. During that time period, his mother began to experience frequent, excruciating headaches. Every time she experienced one, she was unable to function to the point that eventually she and Daryl's father agreed that Daryl might be better taken care of if he lived with his father. I recall as Daryl shared that part of his story with me that he stopped and his eyes focused on a faraway place and he said, "Mom said it was only a headache . . . only a headache." The weekend she died, Daryl was visiting her in her home in a state contiguous to Texas. She had been feeling better and was confident that the latest treatment for her headaches might be working. At the dinner table on a Saturday night, she suddenly collapsed, complaining of severe head pain. Daryl's grandmother quickly called 911 and the paramedics took her to the hospital. Daryl's dad was notified and he rushed to Daryl's side as quickly as possible. Before midnight that night, Daryl's mother lost her battle to what was diagnosed ONLY after her death as a brain tumor. Daryl was crushed! Although the doctors misdiagnosed her condition, Daryl believed that his mom "knew" she had a brain tumor. He also believed that his mom told him "it was only a headache" to keep him from worrying about her. He said, "She was just that way . . . never wanted me to worry." Daryl found himself struggling to understand the incomprehensible . . . to make sense of the senseless . . . to find meaning in the meaningless. He did so with the support of a loving father, a caring extended family and a community dedicated to lend invaluable comfort. In the few months that Daryl and I worked together, I watched him struggle, cry, laugh, remember, express anger, sit quietly and find a path for his personal journey. Daryl and his father began attending support sessions at the The W.A.R.M. Place in Ft. Worth where they both found comfort and healing in the presence of others who walked similar paths. I'm not sure what happened to Daryl and his father. That is so often the case with counseling; however, I am confident that they found reconciliation of their grief and continue to walk the paths of healing to this day~ Not because of anything I did, but because of their choices to mourn their loss in ways that bring healing. I will always remember Daryl's courage, vulnerability and determination and I will always remember Daryl. I am a better person for having known him. I am hopeful that you can learn from Daryl as well. |
Every Step Has a Story |
|
![]() Plans for the Every Step Has a Story project continue with new developments almost daily. I have shared that I feel as if I have stepped on a fast-moving train that began its journey headed for a pre-determined destination and that I am just along for the ride! We have finalized the itinerary for stops along the way. I have worked it out so that I will rest each Sunday of the month of April 2011 and not walk at all on those days. Following is the itinerary by date and stop. If you know anyone in any of these towns/cities, please share this information with them. Perhaps we can connect in some way prior to the walk or as we make a stop. April 2011 ~ Every Step Has a Story Itinerary
|
Awaken to Good Mourning |
|
![]() We are excited to announce that Awaken to Good Mourning has been added as an ancillary resource text for graduate level counseling students in the UNT Counselor Education Program! The book will serve as a resource for counselors in training during the on campus practicum class ~ a class that requires counselors in training to work with clients under supervision. We continue to find ways to incorporate Awaken to Good Mourning into similar programs in other counselor training programs. If you know of a university counselor training program that might be interested, please let us know! Thanks! |
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
|
McKinney, TX to Nashville, TN~600 Miles/Thirty Days
The First of Many to Come . .
. |
|
![]() Between now and April 2011, I will be
sharing stories from folks who have experienced the death of a loved one
where children or adolescents were directly involved or affected. My
intent is to reveal the extent to which children, adolescents and
families are touched by the death of loved ones. Often, the stories will
reveal positive outcomes. At other times, the realities of of life will
find expression in hope unfulfilled. I'm hopeful that you will find
this segment in each newsletter and email to be helpful in some way. A little over twenty years ago, I met Donna one day while working out at the YMCA in Plano, TX. I had just completed my first marathon to raise funds for a memorial scholarship in Christy's memory and honor at the University of North Texas. The local YMCA supported my efforts and in the process, posted my picture. Donna recognized me and we began to talk about her experience. Donna shared the following: "You know, Mark, I just celebrated my fortieth birthday yesterday. As exciting as that should have been, I was sad deep down inside." I asked her why and she continued, "Well, I was reminded that twenty-two years ago when I was eighteen, my mother died from breast cancer. I will never forget how empty and lost I felt, but that was not the worst of it all. I was the eldest of six children, the youngest being six. I will never forget the afternoon after my mother's funeral when my dad came into the room and addressed all of us kids. He said 'Your mother is dead. We will grieve for the next two weeks and then we have to get on with life. There is just too much to do to grieve any longer.'" She shared further. "Being the eldest and a female, I took on many responsibilities for raising my younger siblings. I graduated from high school but delayed going to college because there was just too much to do . . . and it was my job to see that all was done the way it needed to be done." I remember her eyes trailing off to some place in her distant past as tears formed in her eyes. She said, "Mark, I have been two weeks into my grief for twenty-two years now. What do I do to start healing?" Donna's courageous sharing of her story that day started her down her own personal path to healing and grief reconciliation. Sharing one's story ~ as often as needed ~ is just one way to begin the process of healing. |
Speaking of Speaking . . . |
|
![]() I have been privileged to speak to many
groups recently. In March, I traveled to Las Vegas to present a session
on the "Compassionate Delivery of Death
Benefits" to a group of life insurance professionals at the
annual Life Agency Management Program.
In May, I conducted a workshop with the Collin College Counseling Department addressing the "Integration Model of the Grief Process and a
New Approach to Grief Counseling." Early July found me in Denton
at the UNT Center for Counseling and
Human Development spending time with some graduate counseling
students and supervising professors talking about the "Integration Model of the Grief Process."
The coming months will find me in the following places:
I would love to
speak in your community. In conjunction with the "Every Step Has a Story" event, I will
speak to groups about the principles that drive such an effort and how
those principles can infuse any business, educational institution,
church or civic organization with renewed determination to move forward
in tough times. |
Awaken to Good Mourning ~ Bulk Purchase Discounts |
|
![]() Awaken Associates will offer the deepest bulk purchase discount on Awaken to Good Mourning to any individual or group through August 2010. Whether you purchase two or two hundred copies, the per copy prices will be $8. Contact us today for details. Our Price: $8.00 List Price: $15.95 S & H: Included |
I had such a great time with Diane Viere today on her Blog Talk Radio show. If you missed the broadcast, you may catch it at http://bit.ly/bAmqY7
Hope you enjoy the program and will share it with your friends and family! Thanks! Peace!
You are invited to read my guest blog post entitled "Response-Ability" on Dr. Jack King's "Servant Hearts" site @http://bit.ly/bs56qD
Yes, you read correctly! I'll SPEAK FOR FREE!
Any speaking engagement booked during the month of May 2010 ~ regardless of the month of the scheduled event ~ I'm waiving my speaking fee! The only two requirements I have is that the booking organization provide travel & lodging if necessary and allow for the sale of my book Awaken to Good Mourning at the end of the presentation! That's it!
Why in the world am I making this offer? I'm glad you asked!
First, I have discovered that many organizations would love to book speakers but due to the economic stresses have chosen to forgo the expense of bringing in outside resources. Second, I feel compelled to make this offer! You see, deep in the core of my soul, the desire to communicate with groups of people about the possibilities of powerful living in the Meantimes of Life drives me to seek audiences. Finally, based solely on past experience, the messages that burn in my spirit connect with people at levels that defy explanation.
The other day a friend and colleague sent me her "endorsement statement" of my speaking. I was both amused and deeply touched by what she said. She wrote, "Mark Hundley's presentations are a tasty treat. He serves up delicious stories of real people and real life and adds big dollups of humor along with a dash of tears. You'll want seconds and thirds." I'd certainly love to be on your group's menu!
I speak to multiple audiences. Following is a brief listing of a few of the more popular topics and the audiences to which they are directed. Perhaps this will help you in deciding with whom you will share the information.
General Interest
Life Insurance Industry
Churches and Religious Organizations
Remember! May is "Speak for Free" month! Any booking that takes place this month, I waive my fee!
Give me a call at 469-422-1638 or email me at awaken2@tx.rr.com
I look forward to heading to your neck of the woods!
Later! Peace, ya'll!
Mark
I am a life transition specialist, psychotherapist, speaker and author who loves life, loves people and periodically experiences "bald moments;" however all is good!
Recent Comments